{ such a loser }

yep.  that's right.  that's me.  hopefully soon.  again i tell you that i am doing a biggest loser contest with some friends.  i'm not winning.  that kills me.  but i haven't tried.  so sad.  i really am a loser.  seriously.  and not the losing weight kind of loser.  just a loser. 

to keep me accountable to myself and to my loser friends, i created myself a blog.  i'm sick and don't feel like cleaning, so this is what i do.  keep up with my progress.  tomorrow i start the serious journey to get to my goal weight.  i'm going to do it this time.  (as long as this bronchitis allows me to run)

oh, my new loser blog is www.losererin.blogspot.com   check it out.  and don't laugh at the pig at the bottom.  no, it's not a self portrait.  just a cute picture that fit the occasion. 

{ where do i begin? }

this post isn't much.  just some sickness updates and a tad bit of complaining, mixed with some randomness.

i went to a 2nd doctor this morning.  the one i went to yesterday, i wouldn't recommend to anyone.  after i was in there for an hour, she came in, checked me out, and said she was going to give me an antibiotic.  said that i just had a virus.  after actually seeing her for about 2 minutes, i was on my way.  only happy because i got some medicine.  i went to get the much needed drug so i could start feeling better and no one in town had the generic brand.  only name brand.  $130.  (no i didn't buy it)  come to find out, it's a nasal decongestant.  (here's the complaining part)  i could buy nasal decongestant over the counter.  i'm not congested up there as much as i am in my chest.  i sound like a cat purring when i breath.  why would she give me that?  so, another doctor today ... BRONCHITIS it is.  not too far from being pnemonia!  far from a little virus that needed a nasal decongestant to repair.  finally i have an antibiotic and a cough medicine.  hopefully it kicks in soon and i'm up and running again.  on the same note, my 13 month old sounds as bad, if not worse than me, and they won't prescribe her anything.  no fever.  she's still a baby.  bummer.

here's the random. 

you know those little girls in green or brown that sale yummy treats?  it's that time again.  i gave in.  i couldn't resist.  don't worry, my fellow losers, i haven't eaten a whole box by myself just yet.  i haven't eaten much of anything this week, so i won't be far behind, if not close to the top this week!  i hope.

{ i like it }

got me a new header for my blog and ...

i like it!  i played around with photoshop last night and thought i'd do a little creatin' of my own. 

i apologize for the lack of ... well, lack of everything when it comes to posting anything with substance this past week.  we're still sick.  going to the doctor today.  karsyn and i.  maybe my brain will come back to me.

{ congratulations }

thought i'd do a little shout out to my very sweet friend licia who got engaged!  woo hoo!  i'm so excited for her.  she deserves only the very best and i truly believe travis is just that.  congrats guys!!!

{ another year }

ah, another year gone.  26 whole years.  hmmm.  feels like another day. 

my favorite man did take me to my favorite place for dinner.  carinos, that is.  (speaking of, what happened to johnny?)  no baby.  a quiet, non-rushed dinner.  so nice.  that was just after our first night of our crown financial class. 

what a day.

{ today }

question : "what did you get for your birthday?"

my answer : "a cold and a cranky toddler."

ugh.  what more could i ask for.

{ dog giveaway }

anyone want a gold color lab?  she's fixed and has her first shots.  she's about 5 months old.  you can have her dog house too.  and we'll throw in a bag of food.

do you ever feel like you just made a down right bad decision?  that's what this is.  she's not a good dog to have if you don't have time to spend with a dog who needs a lot of attention, if you have very small children, or a small dog that you've had for 4 years that dominates the house.  what were we thinking?

{ texas weather }

only in texas can you look like this one day ...

and this the next ...

{ got the lazies? }

i do.  i pretty much lack any and all motivation, energy, and whatever else it takes to not be lazy.  i need a swift kick in the rear.  in an attempt to "get my life organized", i've simply become even more lazy than before.  maybe it's the crazy texas weather?  more likely, it's because i don't take care of myself and, at the critical points in my life, my boat rocks.  no smooth sailing for me right now.   

so, where's that swift kick when i need it?  for all you non-losers that actually might read my blog, me and several friends are doing our own version of the biggest loser.  so i've lost 5 pounds.  pat me on the back.  but i haven't tried.  i haven't worked out.  i haven't put my new treadmill to use hardly at all.  i've eaten better than i usually do and actually have drank water, but that's all.  that's not good enough for me.  i want to be the best.  the best loser.  the best mom.  the best wife.  they best "housekeeper".  the best christian.  and right now, i stink. 

any great words of inspiration other than "go take a hot shower and get over it" ???

{ told you so }

for the longest time, i've told karsyn how good she'd feel in the morning and how happy she'd be if she'd just sleep all night long.  she's learning.  we've been trying to teach her to fall asleep on her own.  last night ... hallelujah ... i put her in bed at 7, never heard a peep until 8:15 this morning.  she's happy, happy, happy too!  and it's only taken her a week to get to this point.  there is hope for all you with non-sleeping babies out there.

did i mention that i'm happier too!

{ only a prayer }

that's what his family needs.  a dear, sweet friend of mine, matt thebeau, was killed sunday in a car crash.  he was a corpus christi police officer and previously served four years in the united states navy.  he was on duty chasing a vehicle when he swerved to miss a motorcycle.  he slid, hit a light pole, then was thrown from his patrol car and hit by another vehicle.  he went to see our Lord early sunday morning and his body laid to rest today with full military honors at fort sam houston cemetary in san antonio.

i am so very proud to say that i knew him.  i graduated high school with him and enjoyed every minute of our friendship.  he knew how to make you laugh and to laugh himself.  he loved life and everything that came with it.  he could cut a rug with the best of them.  i pray for his family.  his sweet mom.  i pray that God would be her strength to cope with the loss of a child.  for his dad and sister who were serving overseas at the time of his death.  may they turn their unknown and questions into utmost praise to God.  praise that matt is by His side right now, watching over them.  it's so hard to see pictures and think of the life that he lived.  serving us. 

please pray.

{ it happened overnight! }

my baby has hair!  can you believe it?  a little curly sue action going on here.

ok, so it's just a wig.  one can dream, can't they? 

she actually wore it as if it were her own though.

{ to make her mother puke }

she did it.  i didn't get there fast enough to protect her.  but she had fun while it lasted.

only to my child it would happen.  the unthinkable.  you see, she's pooped in the tub three times already.  i should have known it was coming.  my mom was bathing her and abruptly told my sister to watch her while she gets something to clean it off.  i went to check on my sweet baby.  this is what i found.  i thought she was just playing in the water.  oh no ..

then she looked up at me.  it was the face only her mother could love.  i think i sucked all the air out of the bathroom.  WHAT HAS SHE DONE?  i gagged.

then, she did this ...

OH MY GOSH.  i couldn't believe it.  she was eating her poop.

don't worry.  after i about died, my mom laughed and told me it was just chocolate and peanut butter.  and, up close, it does look like chocolate, but not when you just glance, hoping it isn't what you thought.

isn't that disgusting?  boy does she have it coming for her. 

{ change of plans }

well, well, well.  as you all know, things never go as planned when you have a little one.  never.  today, i had planned to clean.  you see, i am very much OCD and currently a non-practicing clean freak.  that title ceased to exist when karsyn was born.  i'm trying to take the "non-practicing" part off and put the rest of it to good use now.  so far, it's been a little difficult, but i did clean 1 bathroom and 1/2 a bedroom today.  that's a good start right?  another 3/4 of a house to go. sigh.

here's where the plans changed.  my poor baby is sick.  i swear i have a sign on me somewhere that says "please puke on me" or "loves smelling like vomit".  she's had fever for 2 days now.  AND, you guessed it, tonight she puked all over me.  nice.  just what i wanted.  she just ate and was walking around.  came right up to me and blew chunks right on my chest while i was sitting on the floor.  it was a scene quite reminiscent of the night my favorite man did the EXACT SAME THING!  if you see that sign, please take it off or at least point it out, but don't even think about joining the "puke on erin club".  it's full.

she's nice and asleep now, sure to sleep off the bug.  let's hope.

i did have planned a post about my biggest loser adventure and the gift my sweet friend gave to me.  maybe i can sneak in some time tomorrow. 

{ oh no she didn't }

for the love of all things, i wish i was making this up.  i always just knew that my daughter would never do such a thing.  and she never has.  until now.

where do i begin.  oh, let's just get down to business.  she pooped in the bathtub.  not once.  not twice.  but three times this past week.  surely she doesn't think the tub is a toilet.  i've read a few other blogs though telling stories of floating poop in the tub.  so i'm not alone, but i sure did feel that way as i figured out how to get the poop out without squishing it with my fingers in a piece of toilet paper, or gagging, whichever came first.  ugh.  it was disgusting.  i had no other way within reach.  one hand had to be holding karsyn back from wanting to play with the new toy she created.  i grabbed the biggest wad of toilet paper.  i'm surprised it flushed. 

long story short, my tub has never been so clean before.  three times in one week.  it's probably in heaven right now.  squeaky clean. 

{ zzzz's }

caution: this post contains LOTS of capital letters.

have i ever told you how important it is for me to get my zzz's at night?  HAVE I?  well, last night, i didn't get them.  hardly at all.  thanks to my darling little child.  she's ONE.  i'm past the whole "it's ok if she wakes up at night because she's a baby" thing.  she always sleeps ALL night now.  not last night.

she wouldn't sleep unless i was holding her.  what's up with that, kid?  did i mention it was ALL night?  when i don't get sleep, i have a hard time functioning normally all day.  it'd be different if she still took 2 naps during the day and i could simply nap with her, but SHE DOESN'T SLEEP THEN EITHER.   she is so not my child. 

guess i'll be hitting the dr. pepper hard today.  just my luck that i put off my cleaning all week until today.  you know, the cleaning that HAS to get done because company is coming TONIGHT.

CLEAN?  all i want is to go back to bed.  oh how i wish i had a babysitter.

(i'm done ranting and raving.  thanks)

{ addicted? }

hello, my name is erin, and i'm addicted to bags.  totes if you will.  sometimes purses.  today was the day.  i found ME a purse.  no more baby bag for us.  karsyn will probably never be able to tell her teacher what bag is hers because she's only one and she's gone through a few already.  they constantly change. 

so, back to today.  got me a purse.  got karsyn a special bag to take to church.  when we go out now, whether running errands, shopping, or out to eat, we just take us some snacks and a sippy cup.  no need for a huge diaper bag.  (we do still carry diapers though!) 

got back from shopping.  look at my living room.  this is how it looks right now.

count them.  5 bags/totes/purses.  i LOVE them.  when i go into any store, that's the section my eye wanders first.  on the couches there are ...

1 former diaper bag.  1 NEW diaper bag.  1 mother's day out bag.  1 NEW purse.  1 current diaper bag/purse.  i just laughed at myself when i walked in and realized how bad i am.  AND, these aren't all of them.   

i'm sure SOMEONE has more than me.  i think her name starts with an A. 

{ off the charts }

we had karsyn's ONE year well baby appointment this morning. 

a new FIRST - karsyn got to step up on the big girl scale to get weighed.  up until now, she's always laid on the baby scale in the room.  ok, so it's not that exciting to you, but we thought it was.  speaking of big girl, she weighed 24 lbs 8 oz.  AND she measured 32 inches! 

doctor said "she's off my chart!"  she's gonna be a tall one.

i still get offended, however, when he says "she's going to be BIG like momma!"  WHAT!?!?  i said WHAT in the world is that supposed to mean?!?!?!  i guess i'll get on the treadmill TWICE today, thank you.  ruffled my feathers just a little.

back to karsyn.  he said, at this rate, she'll be at least 5'10".  she's certainly healthy.  she got 5 shots.  screamed her little head off.  all she wanted was for me to hold her.  she screamed like she's never screamed before.  she was ok as soon as we walked out though.  now ... she's sleeping.

{ myself }

So much to get done today. I do not have time to workout...nope, but I'm going to anyways. In 15 minutes...why...because I promised to make MYSELF a priority. My health, my sanity, my stress reliever, well...so I will go, even though I have SO much more that I feel pulling me away to do it. My first thought, is to bag my workout and focus on all the rest...but I know I need to STOP putting myself and my health last.  So to the next room I go, to run. 

Motivation is what I lack. 

{ please, just lie to me }

tell me it looks good because i'm still not sure.

i got my hair cut today.

again.

for the 2nd time in 2 weeks.  i didn't like the results of the first one, so i went back.  i feel like edward scissorhands got a hold of me.  it's THAT short.  i'm still undecided on whether or not i like it.  my hair has never been this short before.  BUT, the good thing is, in 2 weeks, it'll be longer.  my hair grows at a decent rate, so i'm not too worried. 

i did decide, however, that this time i'm really going to let it grow out.  seriously.  you can believe me this time.  i'm going to do it.  {wink}  really, i want my hair to be long.  i just get really lazy when it's long and don't fix it.  but remember, new year, new me!

i was going to post a picture, but i'll let you all wonder in great anticipation until the next time you see me to see how short it actually is.  this could be interesting.  we'll see how many of you are really curious.

{ ramblings }

as much as we have enjoyed the past two weeks of vacation that we've had, we are so ready to get back on our schedule.  it keeps me sane.  i spent today CLEANING.  when i say CLEANING, i mean CLEANING.  like, on my hands and knees scrubbing the kitchen floor, CLEANING.  it was much needed.  i only got half the house done.  the other half is way too complicated.  those rooms will require a day for themselves. admit it, you have a catch-all room too. luckily it was so nice outside that the hubs and karsyn were able to stay outside most of the time.  as soon as she set foot in the door ... chaos.  toys were scattered once again. 

i do frequently think of myself as being just a tad bit OCD.  88% OCD according to a survey i took.  i started the day by making my ever-so-famous "to do" list.  i do color code our clothes in the closet.  all of the canned veggie labels are facing the same way.  all lined up, almost perfectly.  karsyn's snacks are out of their original packaging and into clear, plastic containers.  and everything in the refrigerator is just so.  the next few days, i'll get lazy.  it'll all get jumbled.  and i'll have to redo it.  i'm working on not being so lazy though. 

another thing i'm working on ... simply being healthy.  i don't take care of myself like i should.  eating healthy and exercising are numero uno starting at 5:30am tomorrow morning (monday).  i long to be a health nut.  i just have a hard time achieving that goal.  i'm trying this time.  we went to eat at IHOP one day because i was hungry for their pancakes.  we all know how healthy those are.  there we were, all 3 of us, scarfing our pancakes, stuffing our faces with syrup.  this girl (skinny girl, i might add) sat behind us.  she ordered (FOR BREAKFAST) a chicken fajita omlet made with egg whites only, cut the cheese, cut the sour cream.  with steamed broccoli instead of pancakes.  and water with lemon. 

she did get a weird look from me as i stuffed a ham and cheese omlet in karsyn's mouth.  followed by a bite of pancake.  then, suddenly, i was jealous.  why can't i eat like that?  i want to be strong enough to put my health in front of my appetite.  but that morning, my mouth was watering for pancakes, not steamed broccoli.  {sigh} 

so ... starting tomorrow.  monday.  january 7th.  i'm healthy.  watch me.  i might be dragging from getting up at 5:30am to run (we got a treadmill), but at least i'll be a little bit healthier.  i'm putting me first this time so i can better take care of myself and my family. 

i still can't promise i'll eat broccoli for breakfast though.

{ practice makes perfect }

so, i got this new toy for christmas ... 

can you see it?  i could only find a teeny-tiny picture of it. 

i have wanted photoshop for my computer for a while now.  you see, i love taking pictures and i wanted to be able to play with them afterwards.  to create fun things.  to make those cool black and white pictures, where only the hair bow is pink or the eyes are blue.   

the only problem is ... I DON'T KNOW HOW TO USE IT.

they say "practice makes perfect."  i think this one's going to require some training.  there's tons of things to do on here. 

ugh ... i'm overwhelmed.

{ committing to a resolution }

everyone else is talking about what they are out to "change" this new year, so i thought i'd share too.  there's lots of things i SHOULD change, but, to be honest, i'm pretty lazy. 

**like just about everyone else, (although i'll actually admit to it) i plan on losing weight.  we now have a treadmill at our house, so i have NO excuses.  i've been "losing weight" obviously unsuccessfully for a year now.  every year.  that's my goal.  never happens.  this year ... no excuses. 

**we are working on a budget.  simple words for "i spend way too much". 

**to live with a COMMITMENT to God, to myself, to my husband, to my child, to my family, to my friends.  to COMMIT to everything that i do, everything i'm involved in.  to COMMIT to loving the Lord with my whole heart and allowing Him to love me in return.  to COMMIT to being the best wife and to foster our relationship like never before.  to COMMIT to being the best mommy to my baby girl all with the Lord's help.  and to COMMIT to taking better care of myself amongst all the chaos.

today, i'm COMMITTING to cleaning.  as i type this, it is actually 10:42pm wednesday night.  that's because, today, i'm cleaning.  no time to blog.  but i wanted to share.  plus, i'm COMMITED to keeping you informed about my life.  that's part of it i guess.

{ ooo's & aahh's }

our sweet friend AW brought us some yummy treats today.  they were gone in about 2 minutes.  seriously.  even karsyn had her share.  she had her share of clothes too.  you see, AW has been on a cleaning spree at her house.  i bet it's ultra organized by now.  goodwill probably loves her.  so do we. she brought karsyn a box of clothes that K2 use to wear.  they are super cute.  karsyn enjoyed emptying the box, filling it, and emptying it again and again and again.  this box of clothes entertained for HOURS!

thanks AW!!

she enjoyed the treats AND the hat!

i wish i would have known sooner that a box of clothes would provide so much entertainment.

who me???  (notice the outfit, AW?)

{2007 was good to us ... }

& brought so many wonderful things into our lives.

like this adorable little face ...