i am back at teaching mother's day out at our church this year and i cannot wait. first off, i cannot wait to get back into some sort of routine. second, i cannot wait for some time each week away from home. mykah is now almost 8 months old. we stay home. that's it. and it's wearing on me.
so. today, we had teacher training. part of our discussion this morning slapped me in the face. don't you just love it when God does that to you? so many times i catch myself saying "i cannot wait until she grows out of this phase", "i cannot wait until they are both old enough to go to school", "i cannot wait until karsyn is 3", and the list goes on. i don't say these things every day, but often. you see, i tend to let myself stress out about the small things. i overreact quite easily. this mommy thing is hard for me, mainly because i let it be. moms with older children do it too. mary admitted to saying herself "i cannot wait until they can drive themselves to school." it happens to all of us.
what convicted me, however, is the fact that i'm still new to this and i'm already ready for it to be over with? i'm only 2 1/2 years into this mommy thing and i already want her to be older. our discussion this morning continued (in my own words) with living in the moment. loving the stage that your children are in right now. loving what age they are now. and enjoying every minute, every second of it.
its so easy to get in a mommy rut. i do it often and have to find a way to refocus my intentions. normally it takes a certain sweet friend to remind me of one precious little girl, whom i never even knew, who was recently taken from her parents to be with Jesus after a bus accident. when karsyn is driving me crazy, i remind myself that maggie lee's mommy is begging to have her little girl back with her to drive her crazy. she wishes her baby was there to throw another fit. she'll never have that again and i still do. at the time, however, it's hard to be thankful for my child screaming in my ear and throwing herself on the floor.
so my goal is to stop. stop pushing the days to go faster. stop pushing my girls to grow up at a rate faster than they should. God did not give me my children just to live in my house. He did not give them to me just so i could watch them grow up. He gave them to me as a gift. I'm the one responsible for their growing, nurturing, being healthy, and having fun. it's my job. and i wouldn't have it any other way.
i guess i just needed a little mommy attitude adjustment today. what else could make me happier than this ....