. confession .

i am back at teaching mother's day out at our church this year and i cannot wait.  first off, i cannot wait to get back into some sort of routine.  second, i cannot wait for some time each week away from home.  mykah is now almost 8 months old.  we stay home.  that's it.  and it's wearing on me. 

so.  today, we had teacher training.  part of our discussion this morning slapped me in the face.  don't you just love it when God does that to you?  so many times i catch myself saying "i cannot wait until she grows out of this phase", "i cannot wait until they are both old enough to go to school", "i cannot wait until karsyn is 3", and the list goes on.  i don't say these things every day, but often.  you see, i tend to let myself stress out about the small things.  i overreact quite easily.  this mommy thing is hard for me, mainly because i let it be.  moms with older children do it too.  mary admitted to saying herself "i cannot wait until they can drive themselves to school."  it happens to all of us.

what convicted me, however, is the fact that i'm still new to this and i'm already ready for it to be over with?  i'm only 2 1/2 years into this mommy thing and i already want her to be older.  our discussion this morning continued (in my own words) with living in the moment.  loving the stage that your children are in right now.  loving what age they are now.  and enjoying every minute, every second of it. 

its so easy to get in a mommy rut.  i do it often and have to find a way to refocus my intentions.  normally it takes a certain sweet friend to remind me of one precious little girl, whom i never even knew, who was recently taken from her parents to be with Jesus after a bus accident.  when karsyn is driving me crazy, i remind myself that maggie lee's mommy is begging to have her little girl back with her to drive her crazy.  she wishes her baby was there to throw another fit.  she'll never have that again and i still do.  at the time, however, it's hard to be thankful for my child screaming in my ear and throwing herself on the floor. 

so my goal is to stop.  stop pushing the days to go faster.  stop pushing my girls to grow up at a rate faster than they should.  God did not give me my children just to live in my house.  He did not give them to me just so i could watch them grow up.  He gave them to me as a gift.  I'm the one responsible for their growing, nurturing, being healthy, and having fun.  it's my job.  and i wouldn't have it any other way. 

i guess i just needed a little mommy attitude adjustment today.  what else could make me happier than this ....

. new prayer .

today i received an email.  it was a forward, which is something i usually don't open, but i did.  it was a simple prayer.  a one-liner.  it said ...

dear God.  i pray for the cure of cancer.  amen.

i prayed that as i read it.  cancer is huge.  it's something that so many people struggle with and i indeed pray that someday there is a cure for it all.  recently, that prayer has hit home.  it has become my prayer because someone i love, someone near and dear to my family has just been diagnosed.  my sweet mother-in-law.  and, although we don't know at the moment i type this what kind of cancer she has, we know she will be fighting the fight. 

yes, i have personally known people who have had cancer.  aunts.  friends.  distant relatives.  but for it to be our mom brings the thought of cancer to a whole new level for us.  we aren't scared, or at least not admitting it, but we are holding strong to the knowledge that God is in control.  she knows God has His almighty hand over her and i'm so thankful to know that she too knows our God. 

will you pray that special, simple prayer with me today?  will you pray with me that my sweet mother-in-law will be comforted and at peace knowing that God is with her?  will you pray, as she starts treatments, that her body take them well and heal her? 

. sweet sunday .

. cheese .

why is it that your children just know what gets to you, what erks you the most, what strikes a chord, what down right irritates you?  even if you never spoke it to them, they just know.  and they use it against you in every way possible at every moment possible.

that thing for me.  that thing that karsyn is the best at.  that thing that irritates the snot out of me every time.  makes me cringe, i get so annoyed with it.

turning her head when i take pictures.  or doing this ...

 

WHAT ON EARTH?  seriously.  now, does she honestly think faces like these make attractive pictures?  and what will her boyfriend-that-she's-never-going-to-have say when we show him these pictures. 

obviously these won't make it in my all-time favorite, most adorable pictures of my children book, but i'm assuming this rebelliousness won't continue forever.  (is that word?  rebelliousness?  sounds funky.) 

she indeed does this on purpose all. the. stinkin. time.  and it gets to me all. the. stinkin. time.  could be something worse, i guess ...

. sweet pea .

yes, sweet baby loves to eat.  today's menu ... sweet peas (mixed with baby oatmeal, of course)

 

yes, sweet baby loves to smile, especially when sissy is singing "little bunny foo foo" and slapping her softly on the head ... because sweet baby is the field mouse in that song, not by choice.

 

yes, sweet baby loves to try to kiss me when her face looks like this.  i need to teach her some manners.  never kiss with food on your face.

 

yes, i could still just eat her up.  sweet peas and all.  (that absolutely sounds disgusting.  maybe i'll clean her face first.  aren't those cheeks and dark eyes to die for though?  again, minus the peas.)

. birthday wishes .

 

today is my favorite friend's birthday and i so wish i could be in oklahoma to celebrate with her.  we have been best friends for about .... FIFTEEN YEARS!  can you even believe that?

i do love her and miss her so and i hope she has a sweet, blessed birthday. 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SWEET FRIEND!

. today .

this girl ...

 

has been INSANE today.  surely it isn't because i let her drink fruit punch, right?  actually, i think it was crystal light fruit punch.  maybe she's just INSANE regardless.  i'm going for the latter.  just look at her eyes.  do they look like the eyes of a calm and collected person?  i think not.

so, when she finally closed those crazy eyes this afternoon and got off of her dancing feet, i went for this ...

 

can you even believe?  that was my lunch.  my favorite man replenished my stock of diet coke last night and i found my stash of m&m's at just the right time.  i only ate a handful, as i do not typically enjoy chocolate, but it was the necessary evil at the moment.

then, i found this ...

 

that was my favorite man and i before we got married.  before kids.  before real life.  i had just graduated, he was graduating.  thus the need to put away the stash of m&m's.  i chopped off the rest of my body in this picture for a reason.

now, for the rest of the day ...

. thursday 13 .

i have a 2 1/2 year old that is learning to say so much and repeats everything.  here are 13 things she has said in the last few days.  i just wish you could hear her cute little squeaky voice and her attitude as she says these things.  i also added my responses to most of them.

1. "mommy, i want to be just like you."  {must say, this is definitely one of my favorites!}

2. "oh, shut up!"  {WHAT!?!  where on earth did she hear that.  we put a stop to that one quickly}

3. "mykah reese.  we're almost home."  {as mykah is screaming in the car}

4. "daddy's crazy."  {when he hits bumps while driving the car.}

5. "i don't like you mommy.  i don't want you to kiss me."  {this made me really sad.}

6. "i will pay for my waffles.  at target?"  {i'm so not sure why she loves target so much}

7. "i wuv you mommy."  {another favorite, yet she says it when she's in trouble.}

8. "i'm ready to listen."  {after she has been in trouble for NOT listening. which is often}

9. "i need butter on it." {this girl wants butter on EVERYTHING.}

10. "we can go buy it at target."  {seriously.  where does she get her love of target from?}

11. "SO, maybe we can (whatever it is she's wanting to do) tomorrow."  {i admit, she gets the "so" part from me.}

12. "maybe later we can get a sno cone."  {she LOVES sno cones.}

13. "mykah reese.  it's ok.  don't cry."  {usually said at the top of her lungs, with her fingers in her ears, as mykah is screaming in the car.}

*most of these things don't seem that big.  but she's 2 1/2 and when she says things, it makes me realize how big she truly is getting.  i often wonder how in the world does she know so many words.  how does she know what "so" and "maybe" mean?  needless to say, she's a HOOT and makes us laugh everyday.  life is not boring with karsyn around.

. wordless wednesday .

 

 

. 10 on tuesday .

 

. 10 things i am thankful for today .

1.  a clean house.

2.  joy!

3.  excitement for the future.

4.  heating pads.

5.  my favorite man's fabulous job.

6.  forgiveness - undeserved from Him.

7.  sweet friends who have a servants heart.

8.  quiet time.

9.  my sweet babies who love each other.

10. being loved.

what are some things you are thankful for today?

. slurpee straw surprise .

you know one thing that makes me tick?  one thing that makes me so happy?  when people think of ME.  is that selfish?  i LOVE it when people say "i thought of you when i saw this" or "when i put this shirt on this morning, i thought of you because it's orange."  i LOVE that.  it truly makes me happy.

you see, my sweet friend shan thought about me when she saw something.  and, little did she know, this something would change my world.  

  

so you know of my true love for all things orange and also of straws.  i must have a straw to drink anything, no matter what it is or where i am.  a few days ago, there was a minor crisis at my house when we were about out of straws.  i was in a state of instant panic. 

when shan handed me this at church yesterday and i read her sweet words, my heart, and my teeth, were instantly happy.  and i smiled all day afterwards.  it sounds silly, but this straw is insanely fantastic.  it's about ten inches long, and a quarter of an inch wide making it somewhat wider than your typical, midieval straw.  even better ... it's METAL!  actually, even better than that ... it's ORANGE!

i must admit, i about broke a tooth, drown, and choked on ice on the first slurp, but i think i got the hang of it now.  my drink of choice at the time was diet coke, but i can guarantee if i was drinking a slurpee with this thing, it would certainly provide a quicker method of delivering the ultimate brain freeze. 

i LOVE it, my sweet friend.  i am so thankful that you thought of me and thankful that i will never be without a straw again.

. sweet sunday .

. project #2 crossed off .

i am working really hard on all of these projects.  started #2 late last night and finished it this morning.  and i LOVE it, which is not something i often say about my own work.

remember this ...

 

now, it looks like this ... (minus the tray)

 

 

yes, it's my new favorite aqua color with antiquing glaze again.  i'm in LOVE.

. project #1 - done.

so right now i have a list 9 million miles long of projects i need to finish.  tonight, i finished one.  ok, so it wasn't an important one, but it was the perfect one to start with.

i got a frame from a new sweet friend.  i didn't want it to be pink, so i painted it.  i should have taken a before picture, but i'm not cool like that.

 

the next step after painting ... antiquing glaze.  and now it's perfect for me.

 

this aqua is my new favorite.  not to replace orange, however.  but orange doesn't really make good furniture for my house.  but this aqua ... it's fabulous!  i sat it up on my entertainment center just to take a picture, but i secretly like it there.  it might stay.

thanks, lori, for the frame.  :) 

. high five, it's friday .

here are a few things i often wonder about everyone i meet ... FIVE things to be exact ... just leave a comment and share your answers with me.  i'd LOVE to hear from all FIVE of my readers.  :)  

* list FIVE of your favorite things right now.  

anything orange.  baby kisses.  sonic diet coke.  talking to my favorite friend.  going to the gym.

* list FIVE traits that describe your personality. 

perfectionist.  loyal.  introverted.  conscientious.  emotional.

* list FIVE traits that you wish you had. 

patience.  discipline.  confidence.  assertiveness.  extroverted.

* list FIVE things sitting on your kitchen counter. 

cell phone.  pacifier.  Bible.  pen.  notebook.

* list FIVE things you would like to do that you normally don't. 

listen without distraction.  put others needs before my own.  be healthy in all i do/think/eat.  finish projects.  say no more often.   

. hmmm .

i saw this question earlier and have thought long and hard about it.

would you like you, if you met you?

and, at this time, i still don't know my answer, truthfully, but i'd like to think that i'd be my own best friend!  that i'd love myself because of who i am.  it's something i struggle with.

leave me a comment and tell me your answer.

. thankful thursday .

 

not a day goes by where i don't think about and pray for my poppy.  he has the kindest heart and the most gentle hands a man could have, but those hands have worked harder than any hands i know.  and they still do.  diligently and daily. 

i love to listen to his stories.  his tales of the war.  his tales of his childhood and of life raising a family of seven.  he can write stories and poems like no other and always has a smile to share.

my poppy was in the hospital yesterday, but is home safe and sound now.  my prayer is that God heals him and continues to use him to light the way for his family.  because, to him, his family is everything.

. photography blog .

i finally created a photography blog.  i will post some of my favorites there to share with you.  i named it "such sweet smiles" and it fits perfectly.  life is so beautiful and i simply want to capture sweet smiles to prove it.  check it out ...

suchsweetsmiles.blogspot.com

. lucky 7 .

another month gone by ...

another photo shoot. 

i cannot believe we are getting closer to mykah turning one.  closer to that date now than we are to the actual day she was born.  crazy!

so these are not her official 7 month pictures.  i just had a few minutes to spare while sissy was napping.  and, for some reason, sweet baby gets crazy eyes when the camera comes out.  :)

 

at 7 months, sweet baby  ...

*wants to touch, feel, and grab everything.  toys.  sissy's hair.  her hair.  her toes.  books.  the floor.  and any food she can sneak her little fingers into when i'm not looking.

*is now eating lots.  can't get enough of it.  she loves sweet potatoes, still.

*thinks her sissy is a HOOT.  she does the cutest little belly laugh every time sissy talks to her.

*has already been to oklahoma twice in her short life.  she says she likes it there.

*wants to go to bed at 6:30 every night.  usually we can hold her off till 7 or so.  and she sleeps till 7am usually.  she doesn't make a peep all night.

*sucks her thumb when she sleeps. 

*is trying to figure out how to crawl.  she scoots all over the house on her belly though. 

*takes 2 naps a day.  usually one really long one.

*has her two bottom teeth.  can't get enough of those baby pearls.

*says "babababa" all. day. long.

*still has the cutest smile.  and uses it often.  she smiles at everyone. 

*is such a happy baby.  LOVE it!

 

. 10 things on tuesday .

 

10 things i am happy about this morning.

1. sweet baby gummy smiles.  even though she just woke up, she grins from ear to ear.  and those 2 pearly whites are showing through.

2. karsyn putting deodorant on.  do 2 year olds have body odor so strong they need it?  made me smile that she put it on me too.  i know i needed it.  

3. all things orange.  including my freshly painted orange toenails.

4. a day to play and clean.  ok, so the cleaning part doesn't make me smile, but it will when it's over with.

5. a pantry full of groceries.  

6. a hubby who doesn't have to leave for work this week until 8:15. 

7. watching "beauty & the beast" for the 9 millionth time.  love that movie.  even more than the movie, i love watching karsyn put her fingers in her ears every single time the beast makes an appearance.  children have such a way of showing when they are scared.

8. baby army crawls.  this girl can move.  i need to try it.  you know it has to be a good ab workout.

9. sweet friends to talk to during a much needed pedicure. 

10.  and sweet friends who love my sweet babies. 

{i think i got the numbers right on this one.  1-10.  i ALWAYS mess it up.}

. all STRAW .

those of you who know me know that i do not drink ANYTHING without a straw.  ever. 

with that in mind, wouldn't these stainless steel straws be awesome ...

 

or these cute striped ones ... super cute.

right now, i have these ...

and they suit me just fine, but do you know how exciting ORANGE straws would be?  only orange.  no other colors.  seen any?

. ramblings .

every now and then i'm entitled to just ramble, right?  so, i've had this blog for 4 years now.  can you believe that?  i've had it since we moved here, just 2 months after we got married.  so it has gone through a big move to this new-to-me town, buying a house, having 2 babies, and now we simply continue our life as a new family.  a family of 4.  old friends.  new friends.  good times.  bad times.  silly times.  happy times.  sad times.  and it's all been posted to this blog, for the most part. 

the Lord has really been working in my life lately.  sweet new friends have come into my life to share things that they have dealt with or gone through.  new friends who are very similar to me.  old friends who know me, know how i operate and i quickly turn to them for comfort. 

you see, i'm a perfectionist.  i admit it and those who know me would describe me as a perfectionist as well.  sometimes it works to my advantage.  sometimes it drags me down.  lately, i've let my desire to be perfect in all that i do consume my life.  i often back out of things because of fear that the outcome will not be perfect or to my level of perfection. 

in an attempt to curb the perfectionist in me, i have let things go.  i have strayed from the perfectionism and dove deep into the opposite spectrum of it all.  and now i'm digging myself back out.  i want to be me again.  i don't function well without organization and structure.  without plans and schedules. 

so basically, i have struggled being me the last few months.  one sweet friend showed me this verse and i have focused on it since she shared it with me. 

1 Peter 1:15-16 says "...be holy in all you do; be holy because I am holy."

that reminds me daily to be who He has called me to be.  at this time of my life, He has called me to be a mom and a wife.  and i have struggled with that job since choosing to stay home 2 years ago after i had karsyn.  i am a people pleaser.  a learner.  a do-er.  and multi-tasker.  and i like the work environment.  but i knew that God called me to raise my child. 

amongst this struggle that i have, i often think how defeated i often feel.  but i am quickly reminded of the struggles that others have and that mine are so minute compared.  last night, God reminded me of the hymn "it is well".  and i sang it until i went to sleep.  a sweet friend of mine posted this very hymn on her blog this morning and i was utterly amazed that God was bringing this song to my attention yet again. 

He is showing me that no matter what i am going through, no matter what i'm struggling with, no matter how good or how bad ... it is well. 

. thursday 13 .

today i am listing 13 projects that i need to finish because i know of AT LEAST that many that are looking me in the face screaming my name. 

1. finish painting the trim in the kitchen.  almost done.  we ran out of tape.

2. sand, prime, and paint mykah's highchair.

3. sand, prime, and paint kitchen cupboard.

3. sand, prime, and paint ... (i'm sure i can find another something that needs that) ... but we'll say get my window from shannon and hang it up.

4. figure out what i'm going to do with this antique door i had to have.

5. organize closets and our shed

6. finish karsyn's baby book.  YES, i said KARSYN.  don't get me started on mykah's.

7. find antiques to go on top of my kitchen cabinets and someone to decorate for me.

8. figure out how to use coupons.

9. get my sewing machine out and find that "on" switch.

10. actually put all of our toys in the playroom

11. make a monthly menu.

12. lose weight so i can buy new SMALLER jeans since mine have paint on them and a hole.

13. figure out how to take care of 2 kids by myself again since hubby goes back to work on monday.  he's been home all summer so i forgot.

. playroom .

in our home, we are so blessed to have an extra room that we have decided to make into a playroom for the girls.  what a HUGE difference a few coats of paint will do.  i'm amazed!

to add some cheap artwork, here's what i did ...

 

guess what?!?  it's SCRAPBOOK PAPER!  and it's super cute.  i added this ...

 

so simple.  so cheap.  so cute.  you can't really tell from the pictures, but the walls are pale yellow. 

i plan on framing it out sometime.  another project for another day.