. being a mommy .

by no means do i think that i know everything it takes to be a good mommy.  there are probably more days than not that i truly feel like i know nothing.  nothing at all about what i'm doing.  i'm sure i'm not the only mom out there that has felt that a time or two either. 

i do struggle daily with my job-that-i-wouldn't-trade-for-all-the-world.  who wouldn't enjoy it when you get to see these faces all day, every day...

 

and as if just being a mommy isn't hard enough, i'm a perfectionist too.  things have to be a certain way.  i don't like messes.  i don't like dirt.  i don't like loud noise.  and each of those things comes with children.  i own two said children myself and they don't come with instructions or return policies.  so it means mommy has to learn as we go and try to calm down and go with the flow.  (fyi ... i wouldn't return them, but instructions would be nice)

ok, for those of you who don't know me, "go with the flow" typically isn't in my vocabulary.  well, until now i guess.  and i still try to prevent it by digging my heels in if at all possible.  

so in my perfect world, they would both sleep until 8am.  

they would quietly get up, watch cartoons, and sit calmy at the table while they eat the perfectly healthy breakfast i cooked fresh just a few minutes prior.  (does that really happen every single day at your house?  don't all children other than my own act like normal human beings?)

while they eat without arguing, i would finish the laundry that i started at 6am and clean the kitchen from said breakfast that i slaved over. 

we would go for walks.  paint pretty pictures (without the mess).  read books.  learn all of our abc's and numbers.  not have to sit in time out all day or threaten with spakings for the 10th time before 9am.  no tantrums.  no kicking and screaming.  no hair pulling or teeth grinding.

while the beauties played so peacefully together, i would whip up a fun, quick lunch for them to enjoy just before naptime. 

naptime is the only peaceful thing i KNOW will happen every day that we are home, by the way.  i RELY on those 2 hours.

HOWEVER, our days look nothing like that.  said children seem like maniacs from the moment their eyes open.  they KNOW how mommy likes things and absolutely refuse to let me have my way.  karsyn tells me "i hungy" and mykah basically screams really loud screams until i run to get her bottle.  we kick and scream until we are all dressed and the rest of our day unfolds.  it's loud.  it's messy.  there's lots of baby wipes and usually 2 baths a day. 

and i love every minute of it.  (well, with the exception of time outs and required spankings as they come, lotion squirted all over my nightstand and everything on it, and poop floating in the bathtub on a regular basis)

oh the life of a mom with two under the age of three.  ain't life grand.  i am getting better.  really.  i do let my oldest get as messy as a child needs.  we paint.  we eat playdoh (the edible kind, of course).  we play with jello.  and run through water puddles. 

they rock my world.  and i've never felt more blessed in my life.

. 10 on tuesday .

10 things within arms reach of where i'm sitting right now ... because it's a very random array.

1. four ritz crackers.

2. sweet baby in her high chair, eating said ritz crackers.

3. my beloved diet coke. although it's not from sonic, it still gets me through.

4. an orange sharpie marker.

5. "taking care of the ME in mommy" book by lisa welchel

6. wooden spoon.  although i currently do not beat my child with it, it has been used as a scare tactic recently.

7. my 'to do' list for today.  it's long and only 1 thing has been crossed off.

8. a lid to a bowl that i stole from my mom.  it was an accident.  i'll return it.

9. chapstick.  i don't go anywhere without it.

10. insurance cards.  had to make me and sweet baby dr. appointments this morning.  i should put those in my wallet so i don't forget them, huh?

(and and updated 11th item ... because it's my blog and i can make it 11 instead of 10 ... said ritz cracker CRUMBS because sweet baby is smashing them instead of eating them)

. i {heart} fall .

my favorite, favorite, favorite time of year is ...

F

A

L

L

by far.  i love everything about it.  and every year for as long as i can remember, i get excited for fall to come visit.  because that's all it does here in texas.  visits for a short while.  i wish there was a way to book an extended stay for my friend fall.  or maybe it could just move in with me.  i love it that much.

there are so many things i think of when this time of year rolls around.  here's one of my fall loves ...

pumpkins.  the big, plump ORANGE ones.  i'm not sure what the madness is with these white pumpkins, but they aren't real fall pumpkins if they aren't orange.  just sayin'.

so, my sweet friend fall.  please hang out here in texas for a while longer this year.  i truly miss you when you're gone.

xoxo

. thankful {and grateful. and prayerful.} thursday .

today {well, everyday, but you know what i mean} my heartbeat is my children.  so many days i find myself saying "i can't wait until they can ..." or "i can't wait until naptime today."  or "i can't wait until my favorite man comes home."  it's all simple, more-common-than-not mommy thoughts and words.  everyone feels this way at times. 

while getting caught up on blogs this morning, i found myself stopping to pray at each.  each one i looked at was a blog updating family and friends on the health of a child.  i became completely overwhelmed with gratitude because my children are healthy.  neither one of them had to go to the nicu.  both of them got to come home after only two days of being in the hospital.  neither one of them had to have tubes.  neither one of them is on medication of any kind.  neither one of them have a broken, literally, heart.  neither one of them have known suffering, disease, or of being sedated and paralyzed so all the tubes will stay in place.

i cry tears of happiness for my own children, but tears of sadness for these families.  please pray with me for them ...

sweet stellan.  if you scroll down and look in the left column, you can find his story.  poor little guy has fought hard for his life, in and out of SVT and in and out of the hospital.  his fight and his smile are bigger than texas though.

sweet owen.  this little guy is so happy, but his little heart isn't.  he needs a new heart and how cute, yet so sad that he will be the tin man for halloween because he needs a new heart? 

sweet moriah.  this precious baby has been in the hospital for 10 months and her parents cling to the Lord with all they have.  moriah is very sick and is sedated and paralyzed.  she was supposed to be discharged this week, but due to yet another infection, she must stay.  pray for this family.  it is one struggle after another. 

sweet luke.  this sweet boy was born a few short months ago with a heart defect and has already had one surgery.  he is due to be discharged from the hospital next tuesday.  pray for his little body that it stays strong enough for him to do so. 

there are so many more.  so many that don't have blogs.  today i cling to my own healthy children and thank my Lord that my blog is about normal-for-the-most-part things, and healthy children.  i thank Him that i'm not asking for people's prayers to save my child's life.  but i pray for these.  i pray for the children who are suffering.  the one's who can't live without pain.  because i don't know what it's like to deal with that and i would hope if ever i do that my faith in the Lord is so strong and rooted deep enough for me to cope like these parents have. 

"trust in the LORD and do good;  dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. delight yourself in the LORD and He will give you the desires of your heart."  psalm 37:3-4

. she still loved it .

he swears he didn't push her.  we'll let you be the judge of that ...

. 10 on tuesday .

{i'm a little behind, i know .. but it's still tuesday so it counts}

10 things i am thankful for this week

1.  successful 6 hour trips with my 2 sweet girls

2.  sweet friends who invite us to their home & make us feel so welcome

3.  said sweet friends who love our children as their own

4.  two year old birthday parties

5.  diet coke, although i am in the process of weaning myself off

6.  my sweet girl who tells me she loves me, even when she's avoiding getting in trouble

7.  bleach and lysol that help get rid of sickness in my home

8.  my sweet poppy who is another year older!  yay!

9. free weekends to spend with sweet friends and family

10. COOLER weather.  today was fabulous!

. birthday roadtrip .

this past friday, we headed out on the six hour drive to oklahoma as soon as my favorite man got home from making money, to go see this little guy ...

mr. konner james.  you see, he was turning TWO, which now his parents regret telling him, but that's another story.  {the whole idea that if you don't tell them, they won't know}

it was a baseball party, obviously, complete with team shirts for the kiddos and tee-ball batting practice.  the "screamin' squirrels", you ask?  it is totally random, i know.  that would be said birthday boy's daddy's baseball team name.  he's one fry shy of a happy meal, so we all just went with it.  {love you james}  made for a super cute and super fun party though.

wait.  who are those 2 insanely adorable girls on the end?

ah.  that's sweet baby and big sister.  so stinkin' cute in their baseball attire.  karsyn had a blast.  mykah got lots of lovin'.  and what would a birthday party be without ....

SWIMMING?!?  the weather was decent.  the water, not so much.  i only put my big toe in and i'm pretty sure it was close to getting frostbite.  seriously.  it was THAT cold.  {just for the record ... mr. konner james looks EXACTLY like his mama in the above picture.  exactly.  so not a bad thing.  just sayin'}

it was the big boys idea to swim.  the little ones just HAD to follow.  it's ok, they paid them back with continues whacks in the head with the pool noodles.  take that!  they had fun, but my poor girl was shivering so bad when all was said and done.  crazy.  insanely crazy. 

sweet baby was just soaking it all in.  and she did it well.  

the party ended, the kids slept REALLY good and jasey and i head to target to buy, well, target things.  we had a blast and are so thankful for sweet friends who mean so much to us and for their little boy.  he's a super cute two year old and knows it.  his look says it all ...

. simple words .

 

got this from a sweet friend today and i LOVE it.  not only because it's orange, but it's a fun, sweet, simple reminder.  and i put it in a spot where i can see it all day long and smile.

it's the simple things.

. be still my beating heart .

i got my eye on this ...

 

ain't she a beaut?  there's just something about this that makes me want to become a baker.  you see, i'm not so much a lady of the kitchen at the moment, but i think if i had one of these, i could definitely become one.  isn't that how it works?  spoken like a true wanna-be. 

baking or not baking, that darlin' would look LOVELY tucked away in the corner of my kitchen. 

. i love their love .

today is my parents anniversary.  they've been married many years and i love their love.  i so wish we could be there to celebrate with them, but i prayed for them this morning that God continue to bless their marriage. 

{and i would post a picture of them, but my sweet mom probably wouldn't like that too much.  and i want her to be HAPPY today, not disgruntled at her picture-happy daughter.}

so, happy anniversary, nana and pawpaw!  we love you so much.

. the JOY of the LORD .

there isn't a day that passes that i don't seek out a special Bible verse to get me through, whether the day be the happiest of all or the most difficult.  i put this platter up on my cabinet and decided to use it to display that special verse to remind myself of it constantly throughout the remainder of the day.  {maybe i'll share those with you more often.}  but i simply use a dry erase marker to write a verse or a quote and wipe it off day to day in preparation for the next days word.  it sounds silly, but i rely on this daily.  sometimes i go several days without a new verse, but the one that is on there is a constant reminder and encouragement to me.

today was like no other.  but when i woke up this morning i just felt deep down that it was going to be a hard one.  have you ever done that?  it probably just meant that i needed another hour of sleep or that i should have actually gone to the gym today, but that feeling was just there.

immediately i thought of this ...

 

i prayed that verse early this morning, but i forgot to write it on my platter.  the girls woke up early, i had to get breakfast, sweet baby wasn't being so sweet.  and the morning just past quickly.

i was right. today has been difficult.  but i have a special friend that i rely on to pray for me when need be, so i emailed her simply asking for a prayer.  she emailed back and said she was praying that i "always feel the truth of Nehemiah 8:10" and she quoted the verse.

that verse?  you guessed it.  when i read her email, my heart sank.  i replied a simple "thank you", grabbed my little marker and scribbled away.  God knew i needed His words today in a big way.   He sent those words to my sweet friend, who didn't know my need at the time.  and she won't know until she reads my blog next time how important her words always are to me.

thank you Jesus for your words.  thank you that they come fast when i need them the most.  and thank you for sweet friends who you use to lift me and guide me.  i pray today that Your joy is my strength every. single. day.  amen. 

. i love being lazy .

this weekend, we were super duper lazy at our house.  mostly because my sweet girl was sick, which made me sad, but it gave us a good excuse to lay around and sleep a whole lot. 

this was my sweet girl saturday ...

 

she was very sick.  and life stops when karsyn isn't feeling well, but it gives me lots of chances to just sit and hold her.  or, my favorite, take a nap with her.  her little body just needed lots of rest.  i kept trying to tell her if she wouldn't wake up at 6:30 every morning she'd feel so much better.

 

she slept in till 10am sunday and felt MUCH better.  that sweet smile of hers was back by that afternoon.  sweet baby was her usual happy self.  she snuck in extra hours of sleep too, which is fabulous for mommy.

 

and her smile is the only thing that could crack a laugh from karsyn all day saturday.  something about sisters ...

. sweet sunday .

. 8 is great .

 sweet baby is 8 months old today.

 

so, at 8 months, mykah ...

*crawls everywhere.  this girl can move.  she went from staying in one little spot in the living room, to following me around the house in a matter of no time.

*makes arm & leg rolls look super stinkin' cute.

*is happy all the time.  unless she's hungry.

*loves her food.  she gets it all mixed with rice cereal or baby oatmeal, but she can down it fast.  last night she ate 3 jars of baby food.  dang girl!

*still just has her 2 bottom teeth, and knows how to use them.  she's got a bite and she likes to chew on the coffee table.

*LOVES, loves, loves to watch her sister.  karsyn can get her to laugh like no one.  i know i sound like a broken record here, but it's so stinkin' funny.

*started mother's day out yesterday.  she did ok.  she didn't nap all day, but i guess she'll get used to it.

*loves to take a bath with sissy.  they laugh and splash for a long time.

*takes 2 naps a day.  she still takes a short morning nap and a LONG afternoon one.  but then she's ready to go to bed at 6:30 or 7:00.  oh, should i mention she wakes up BEFORE 7am?  that's not my favorite thing.

*weighs 19 lbs.  she's shorter and fatter than karsyn was at this age.  and her hair is a little bit thicker too, which i am excited about.

*has changed so much.  she's not a little bitty baby anymore.  kind of makes me sad.

*stands up, holding onto everything.  she gets mad when she can't figure out how to get back down.

*and, she still spits up.  all the time.  so nasty!

 

we love our sweet baby.  her smile just makes me melt.

. i'm not sure why .

... but today we ...

 

played with shorts on our heads?  yes, we did just that.  they look like i forced them to put pink shorts on their heads and sit there for a picture. i wouldn't do such a thing.  but really ... there was hysterical laughing and playing happening just before this.

it was her idea.

 

and they agreed to it too.  oh.  where am i, you wonder?  i do have shorts on my head, but it's my camera and it was in my hands, so there are NO pictures of me acting all crazy.  ok, so mykah wasn't too thrilled.  she's not a fan of things on her head. 

but sissy made it up to her ...

 

sweet sister kisses make EVERYTHING better.

. sweet smiles .

look at this ...

 

isn't she SO STINKIN' CUTE?!?!  i love me some drooly, gummy, baby smiles.  this was all in a five minute time span here.  daddy was making her smile, which isn't hard to do AT ALL.

she's always all smiles.  and is adding teeth to that grin.  melts my heart just looking at it.  i'm so thankful that my children are happy and healthy and these pictures seal the deal.

. letter to karsyn .

(because i want her to hear about this when she's old)

oh, my karsyn.  today you drove me crazy.  seriously.  maybe it was the lack of a nap yesterday.  we'll use that as our excuse anyways.  i'm just being honest here.  we had a long, hard day.  and it all started at breakfast.  you see, i was just trying to make you healthy and happy by making your favorite oatmeal, in an attempt to actually fill you up so you wouldn't ask for a snack thirty minutes into our morning.  in a second attempt, i added a few sprinkles.  just a few, mind you.  enough to make it look appealing anyways.  what kid wouldn't want sprinkles on their oatmeal?  it works on broccoli too!

evidently mommy didn't put enough sprinkles to your liking so you decided to help yourself while i was changing mykah.  in the background, i kept hearing you saying "mmmm" and "dis is nummy".  little did i know ...

 

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?  i just bought that almost $3.00 jar of sprinkles yesterday.  you poured all FOUR little compartments of sprinkles on top of your oatmeal.  who knew that much could fit into that little divided container.  good grief.  and as i stepped back to take a deep breathe and bite my tongue, you started chowing down as fast as you could.  you knew what would happen next.

in case you missed it ... here's a closer picture of what you were indulging in.  

  

would you like some oatmeal with your sprinkles, kid?  good night nurse. 

my SWEET girl,  mommy did not let you eat the bowl-o-SUGAR although you wanted to.  and i now will KNOW to put the sprinkles out of arms reach.  far, far, FAR out of reach.  AND, i now will KNOW to buy sprinkles at the dollar store.

xoxo

mommy

p.s.  next, i think i'll write a letter to the maker of the cute little divided container that the sprinles came in and see if they can make them CHILD-PROOF! 

. wordless wednesday .

 

 

. and so it begins .

we've known for a week or so that sweet baby was able to pull up and stand.  she kept her new trick limited only to when she was in her bed though, until now.  and i knew the time would come when i would have to re-baby proof everything, but little did i know it would have to happen before sweet baby was even 8 months old. 

now i know that she can pull up to karsyn's little table, grab her lunch, and enjoy ...

 

so she had a little treat.  what's it to ya?  she sure enjoyed it.  karsyn, on the other hand, did not like little sister eating her lunch.  in fact, she screamed like a school girl making me think something terrible had happened.  and seriously, i turned my back for a second. 

and, for you curious minds, this made for bath #2 today.  it's looking like today is going to be a 3 bath kind of day for my gals.