by no means do i think that i know everything it takes to be a good mommy. there are probably more days than not that i truly feel like i know nothing. nothing at all about what i'm doing. i'm sure i'm not the only mom out there that has felt that a time or two either.
i do struggle daily with my job-that-i-wouldn't-trade-for-all-the-world. who wouldn't enjoy it when you get to see these faces all day, every day...
and as if just being a mommy isn't hard enough, i'm a perfectionist too. things have to be a certain way. i don't like messes. i don't like dirt. i don't like loud noise. and each of those things comes with children. i own two said children myself and they don't come with instructions or return policies. so it means mommy has to learn as we go and try to calm down and go with the flow. (fyi ... i wouldn't return them, but instructions would be nice)
ok, for those of you who don't know me, "go with the flow" typically isn't in my vocabulary. well, until now i guess. and i still try to prevent it by digging my heels in if at all possible.
so in my perfect world, they would both sleep until 8am.
they would quietly get up, watch cartoons, and sit calmy at the table while they eat the perfectly healthy breakfast i cooked fresh just a few minutes prior. (does that really happen every single day at your house? don't all children other than my own act like normal human beings?)
while they eat without arguing, i would finish the laundry that i started at 6am and clean the kitchen from said breakfast that i slaved over.
we would go for walks. paint pretty pictures (without the mess). read books. learn all of our abc's and numbers. not have to sit in time out all day or threaten with spakings for the 10th time before 9am. no tantrums. no kicking and screaming. no hair pulling or teeth grinding.
while the beauties played so peacefully together, i would whip up a fun, quick lunch for them to enjoy just before naptime.
naptime is the only peaceful thing i KNOW will happen every day that we are home, by the way. i RELY on those 2 hours.
HOWEVER, our days look nothing like that. said children seem like maniacs from the moment their eyes open. they KNOW how mommy likes things and absolutely refuse to let me have my way. karsyn tells me "i hungy" and mykah basically screams really loud screams until i run to get her bottle. we kick and scream until we are all dressed and the rest of our day unfolds. it's loud. it's messy. there's lots of baby wipes and usually 2 baths a day.
and i love every minute of it. (well, with the exception of time outs and required spankings as they come, lotion squirted all over my nightstand and everything on it, and poop floating in the bathtub on a regular basis)
oh the life of a mom with two under the age of three. ain't life grand. i am getting better. really. i do let my oldest get as messy as a child needs. we paint. we eat playdoh (the edible kind, of course). we play with jello. and run through water puddles.
they rock my world. and i've never felt more blessed in my life.