i hate thursdays. i'm tired. it's usually been a long week. it's the day before friday. my house is a wreck. and my list could go on. but it's faces like these that make me smile bigger than ever before, even when i see them on thursdays.
today, i'm thankful i saw this face all day long.
i just {heart} this sweet baby.
here is my list of 10 things i need to do or think about before the new year. (yes, i am already thinking about that time. it's coming quick, people.)
1. what. when. where. how will i pull off 2 birthday parties or just one big one. karsyn's birthday is december 22nd. mykah's is january 10th. for us this is no big deal. but if we would like any guests at our party/parties we have to strategically plan around Christmas and new year's celebrations.
2. what will we get the girls for their birthdays and for Christmas.
3. prepare my house for a small walker. a child that is. mykah will be one in january and will soon be walking. i need to prepare. it is big walker proof, but not small walker proof.
4. a new job. details to come later.
5. decide what i will make/contribute to thanksgiving dinner. i usually bring paper goods or something non-perishable as we travel the farthest out of everyone that attends. last year, i believe, my family was 60 strong for that gathering.
6. clean our back yard and prepare for 2 children to play come spring time. maybe when it's not mosquito infested we can enjoy it again.
7. call and get karsyn in on gymnastics. why do i put this off every week?
8. keep my house clean. that truly should take up all 10 spaces. seriously.
9. figure out a new entertainment center arrangement for our living room. our tv will not survive 2 children and 20 little fingers if it is not up higher.
10. try to relax. try to enjoy this time. this truly should be my #1, but for the lack of time to rearrange everything, i'll keep it right here. maybe ending on a positive, inspirational something will make me happy. my girls are growing up so fast. by the end of the year and start of the next, i'll have a 3 year old and a 1 year old. i get very much caught up in everyday life and cleaning and organizing that i find myself not taking the time to sit and enjoy life. so, here's to it. off to do sidewalk chalk on this beautiful day.
i think i'll write fall a love letter. it is because of this favorite time of year that i can capture pictures like this of my sweet girl ...
unfortunately, sweet baby is not a big fan of those big orange pumpkins. she cries everytime. but her smile is so sweet that any other picture we get is super duper cute.
this past weekend we went to a new pumpkin patch in lavernia with my parents, my sister and brother-in-law, and my nephew. karsyn had a blast. mykah had fun being held. she knows how to work it, folks.
and my non-poser actually posed for me.
we had a great weekend and would do it again every weekend if we could. maybe next time the tables will turn and i can get some pumpkin pictures of sweet baby.
i have my moments. sometimes i do really good keeping up. other times, well, i slack off a little. ok, maybe a lot. this whole mommy of two thing is tough. these days my mind is drifting in between what-do-i-feed-this-kid-who-can't-really-eat-finger-foods-but-wants-to ... how-do-i-get-this-baby-who-always-has-been-easy-to-get-to-sleep-but-now-screams-for-an-hour-back-to-sleep ... to why-does-my-almost-three-year-old-have-the-attitude-of-a-teenager?
oh the joys of mommyhood. i'm glad no one claimed it was easy. right now, this is what we are dealing with, struggling with, living through, and still loving ...
*mykah is 9 months old. she has always been the easiest baby. always happy. always ready to sleep. in every way possible, complete opposite from what karsyn was. karsyn did sleep good, did eat good, and was typically happy ... until she turned 2.
*but mykah has now decided that, because she has 4 teeth, she can eat whatever she wants. she either chews her baby food and makes it squeeze out of her cheeks or she screams until i give her whatever karsyn is eating.
*she has also decided that she wants to scream and fight us for an hour to go to sleep. i think it might be almost time to not have that morning nap, but i'm not quite sure yet.
*karsyn is plain sassy, and sometimes i catch myself calling her "sassy" instead of "sissy". she likes it. she knows it's true. and more times than i would prefer, she says things that i have told her before. for example ... to our neighbor friend, "you are not being nice. i think you need to go sit in time out for a bit."
i get frustrated. i get worn down. i get fed up. but i'm lovin' every minute of it.
should i mention that just today i had to clean up a puddle of pee from the mall floor, only to come home and have to clean poop out of the bathtub. while i was cleaning off pee-girl, sweet baby pooped. nice. and right now i'm washing sheets from said pee-girl because she then peed her bed at naptime.
so that, my friends, is why i have been a bad blogger this week.
of course my favorite color is orange. it's obvious. so fall being my favorite time of year comes as no surprise. the only thing that could top it would be cool weather every day instead of once a month. right now, however, another favorite color is coming up in the ranks around my house. that color?
aqua. it's my new love. my kitchen is now orange and aqua. it makes me happy. so this is my new fall favorite decor. it's home is on top of my entertainment center in the living room and it's perfect.
isn't this adorable. those candle holder things were brown and i painted them and added antiquing glaze. an orange pumpkin on top and it's the perfect fall decoration for me. cute and simple.
and if pumpkins weren't such a fall-thing, they'd for sure be up year round at my house. yes, just because they are orange.
what's your favorite fall decoration?
that's right. sweet baby was in my tummy for 9 months, and now she's been in my arms for 9 months. it's been 3/4 of a year already. WHOA! and so for my every month favorite phrase "can you believe it?"
and, so at 9 months, mykah ...
* has 4 teeth ... 2 top, 2 bottom. and she knows how to use them.
* throws everything she doesn't want. crackers. toys. blankets. throws them.
* thinks sissy is the coolest ever.
* has highly contagious baby giggles and smiles. she smiles all the time. seriously.
* loves to eat frozen peas and anything else other than baby food.
* today we found out that she likes cheetos. thanks sissy. we'll pay for that one later when we change her diaper.
* eats breakfast, lunch, & dinner, plus 4 bottles.
* says "dada", "nana", and "lala"
* insists on standing (with help) and has attempted taking steps, although she falls flat on her sweet little face.
* loves to cuddle. and i love that.
* and cooperates rather well when i take her pictures. :) which you know i love.
{fyi ... i need to find a new picture for this post. i'm so over the last one, even though her toes are just scrumptiously chubby}
here goes. 10 random things.
1. confession. i'm a grey's anatomy junkie. i'm watching a taping as i'm typing and trying to talk sense into the characters. "mcdreamy ... you HAVE to choose meredith. you just HAVE to." "george, just tell her how you feel already, ya sissy." (obviously i'm on season 2)
2. i am a buttercream frosting snob. i bought plain old vanilla and it just doesn't compare. i did buy some cream cheese frosting and took about 10 licks. surely that's an addict talking. (oh, and the frosting was for some cupcakes i have yet to make)
3. i never wear a watch. never have. never will. i've tried. i feel so restrained when i have anything on my arms. i know ... weird.
4. one of my favorite blogs to read is mckmama. no, not only because her favorite color is orange. that is only a plus and would make us true friends if we ever met.
5. i am currently working on a more professional looking photography website. not a blog. a website. ain't that somethin'?
6. i have no orange flowers on my porch like some of my sweet friends do. yes, i am jealous.
7. i have fed my child breakfast for dinner twice this week. WHAT?!? she likes it. and she eats it well.
8. i so wish i could be a runner. a true get-up-every-morning-and-run-outside-for-10-miles runner. for one, i'm fat and out of shape. two, i don't know that my ankles could handle the pounding. i can dream, right?
9. sweet baby sucks her thumb and i LOVE it. i know, i know. i'll deal with that later.
10. i go to target way too much. nothing new, huh? i seriously go there way before ever even thinking about stepping foot into walmart. there's something about our walmart that makes me want to stick something in my eye.
dear sweet baby,
mommy is so proud of you, big girl. you've been able to stand, holding on, for a while now. about a month to be exact. that's pretty much how you spend your days. standing by whatever you can pull yourself up to. but, i must remind you that you do not yet know how to walk. so letting go probably isn't your best option for when you do let go you fall flat on your cute little face and bust your lip open.
so please. pretty please. don't let go just yet. not only do you make your sweet little lips bleed, you make mommy nervous and sad. i know you are ready to chase after sister, but i'm not ready for you to. please, just be a baby for a little while longer.
thanks.
xoxo mommy
my mind doesn't handle decision-making well. it's very stressful for me and puts me in a tizzy. especially if they are BIG decisions. i've been struggling with one of those BIG ones lately, but i have to start the story from the very beginning. and, know that it makes me really sad to share this, but it's my heart right now.
before we had children, MY plan was always to have a baby and go back to work. always. without a doubt. and millions of moms do it and it works for them. once i laid eyes on that sweet baby laying before me, everything changed. i did go back to work for a few short months, but the desire for me to be home with her was so strong i could not ignore it any longer.
due to very poor planning on our part, going from a two income house down to a one income house was VERY difficult, especially since that one income was that of a teacher. but we had to make it work. this was how our family was supposed to be. this is what God had called me to do at this point in my life. the second child came and there still was no question that i would be home taking care of our babes. in fact, the plan has always been to stay home until they all start school. (and i say all VERY loosely, as i'm not 100% sure we are done having children at this point).
recently, the financial struggle for our family has grown even more as, obviously, it costs more to raise more children. it costs more to put 2 kids in mother's day out. and, for the record, i work mother's day out so my children can attend. our goal is to be able to move to a better location for our children to attend school when the time comes. well, the time is coming sooner and sooner every day. we have lots of work ahead, but things will not get paid off and money will not be in savings when we can barely pay bills and buy groceries each month. and there's not an abundance of jobs out there for stay at home moms.
so, what's a girl to do? it's breaks my heart to think of putting the girls in daycare for someone else to take care of. i don't want that to be an option, but at this point it is. we've set a budget. we use coupons. we cut things out like hair cuts and pedicures.
i'm not sure where God is leading us at this point. it's taking lots of prayer. lots and lots of prayer.
today was a rough day for us. so rough that when my favorite man walked in the door from work, i walked out the door to go have me time. it was THAT rough. and he knew it, which is why he didn't ask questions.
during me time, i ventured to hobby lobby. world of putting christmas decorations out before summer. but i love it. i love that if you see something you really want, you can come back the very next week and it will be on sale. seriously.
ok, back on track here ...
i was checking out all of the fall stuff (50% off right now AND orange) and i saw, very randomly displayed, a rack of "world's best mom" ornaments. it got me thinking and kind of made me sad, especially after the day we had today.
if karsyn saw that (and was old enough to read), would she pick that ornament for me? would she automatically, without any hesitation, KNOW that, in her mind, i'm the "world's best mom"? would she? would she insist that her daddy buy that ornament to put on our tree? i will probably think about those questions at the end of every day now and wonder if i did my best that day. if i qualified that day as "world's best mom". did i laugh enough with her? did i dance enough? did i sing enough? did i smile enough? did i talk to her with kind words? did i practice what i preach?
i was sad b/c after today, i know i was far from "world's best mom". yes, they ate. yes, they survived. yes, their snotty noses got wiped. but it was rough. i'm glad it's over, but now i wish i could have done things different. i certainly want to be the "world's best mom" tomorrow. we'll see how i do.
