just to add to the emotional time i'm in, today my girl turns 5. FIVE. a whole hand, as she says. she has counted down to this day for half a year now. it's a HUGE milestone for her. for all of us. FIVE!
i remember that christmas like it was yesterday. i birthed this sweet, 7lb 5oz, beautifully bald baby on the 22nd. brought her home on christmas eve. we missed christmas with my family that year, but it turned out to be one of the best we've ever had. i remember the preemie sleeper my mom bought her to wear as her official "first christmas" outfit. yes, it was necessary. i still have that outfit. and i still can't believe she was so small. who knew she'd grow to be so long and lanky.
i remember very vividly crying as i held her while being strapped to blue lights that would help her jaundice. i remember crying because she wouldn't nurse. i remember crying because my parents left to go back home for my family christmas although they came back the very next day. i remember crying because my mom wasn't there that one night and my mother-in-law was. (don't worry, i've already apologized to my mother-in-law for what i put her through during that time as well). i remember laughing until we cried (literally) with my family, my in-laws, the BFF and her hubby on new years eve that year as we played games. and there karsyn laid. sleeping in her bouncer next to me. all of those memories come flooding back year after year. and it's so hard to believe that it's been 5 years since those memories started. and i'm so very thankful that God has allowed the memories continue.
what an amazing girl i have. she's so smart. so beautiful inside and out. she's passionate. she's detailed. she's a planner. she's very similar to myself in so many ways. she's tall. she's skinny. much like i was at her age as well. she's funny. she's comforting. she's curious. she's encouraging. she's loving. and so much more. all of these things she has learned and all of these things she has made part of who she is in just five short years. and that simply amazes me.
i very much cannot wait (although time can slow down very easily, please) to see what she grows up to be. she'll start kindergarten next year. i can't wait to see what friendships she develops. what grades she'll make. what projects she'll do. what activities she'll be interested in. what style she'll have. all of these things i get to experience with her all because God chose me to be her mommy.
karsyn layne, i am so proud of you. i'm so thankful to be your mommy. you blow me away daily by the things you do and say. you are so strong and so beautiful and i want you to always remember that. i can't believe you are finally a whole hand!!! i love you.