. 304/365 .

halloween was so much fun this year.  the girls were very much into the dressing up AND trick or treating.  although mykah's little legs tired out quickly.  here's the breakdown of our night ...

*i thought we had gymnastics, but was apparently the only person who thought that as we were the only one's there.  

*we wanted to pass time before heading out to trick or treat, so we went to the mall.  the stores were handing out some candy and the girls really enjoyed it.  it was quick and painless.

*once it got dark we ventured to a nicer subdivision in town.  we like nice, well lit, well populated trick or treat spots.  and ones with less risk for yucky candy.  this was our 2nd year to go there and we really enjoy it.  we picked our spot and hit the road.  my mother-in-law was a champ and followed us in the car.  i knew mykah would poop out before karsyn did, so we wanted to have the car handy!

*the girls did so good!  surprised us, actually.  they went right up to houses, knocked, did their thing, and came back to the street where we were.  it was wonderful! 

* we called it a night around 9:00, headed home, at a few pieces of candy and went to bed.

it was a great night!!  and here's one last picture for you ... mykah's supergirl face ...

. 303/365 .

. 302/365 .

both of my girls love to help me cook.  it doesn't matter what it is, they want to be in on the action.  today was making chicken & dumplings.  i really enjoy having them doing things with me.  now, there are times when i just want to get the meal done and out, so i don't let them help always, but i try to most of the time.  i love that special time with them!

. 301/365 .

i love that these four love each other so much! 

. 300/365 .

we got our winter gear today!  i'm so super excited for the cooler weather!

. 299/365 .

i can't decide if she's trying to stay warm or hiding.

. 298/365 .

izzy got a haircut!  she loves to be outside now that the weather is nice, but with all that hair she gets so nasty.  plus, we can't seem to keep the fleas off of her.  the neighbors all have big nasty dogs and no matter what we do, they find her.  so, we had her shaved.  it grows back so fast, that by the time it gets really cold, she'll be fine.  karsyn was so proud of her!  she even got halloween bows put on, which didn't last a wink.  i wish we could have her groomed every day!!

. 297/365 .

mykah loves climbing up on the counter in this little corner.  she is always sitting there watching me make lunches, cook dinner, clean, any excuse to get up there, she'll find.  this time, it was to paint her pumpkin.  all the other kids were at the table.  mykah was on the counter.  i <3 that silly girl.

. 296/365 .

funny the things you never noticed when you were younger are now the things you treasure most.  my poppy is a collector of many things, old and new.  he's an antique kinda guy and i love looking at his treasures.  although he may not think of this as a treasure, it's one of my most favorite pieces of his property. 

yep, it's just an old door.  a door that leads to a room full of antiques and other treasures.  but it's the door that i love.  who knows where it came from or the story behind it, but i know there is one and that mystery makes me love it. 

. 295/365 .

this weekend we are in lavernia, having some fun cousin time.  my most favorite thing to do is take the girls to my parents house.  it's in the country and they play till they can play no more.  all outside.  all dirty.  all fun.

my grandparents live just down the road from my parents house.  definitely within walking distance.  it's pretty darn close.  but we always throw all of our stuff in the back of the truck and ride.  it's mykah's favorite thing to do!

this particular trip we spent playing with cousins noah and jude.  lots of bike riding.  rope swinging.  suckers and bubbles.

and this lil' guy was too cute to share.

i'm so very thankful that my girls have a place that they absolutely love to visit.  i would love to live there with my family so they could enjoy it every day.  that may take the fun out of it all though, but maybe not.  maybe someday.  but, for now, the memories are precious, knees dirty, and fun is had by all each time we make the trip.

. 294/365 .

although this thing sure does have a lot of miles on it, if it stays parked behind my car again, it may be the ends of it's life.  my children leave toys everywhere!!

. 293/365 .

nana taught karsyn a few basics to playing the piano.  now she plays all. the. time.  but i actually love it.  she plays really well, like she knows what she's doing.  i think this may be something we take lessons on sometime.

. 292/365 .

this is one of the sweetest things i want to remember forever and i want my girls to remember.  everytime we are with my parents, here or there, my mom reads a million books to the girls right at bedtime and sleeps with them.  this particular time, she slept on 2 toddler-size matresses pushed together.  what an awesome nana she is!! 

. 291/365 .

these three spent an hour today lining up crayons in the crack of the coffee table.  who knew this would be something that caught their attention for so long.  it's the little things, folks.

. way to be beautiful .

used to, i would have typed "WEIGH to be beautiful".  today, for me, it's a WAY.  i have only struggled with my weight since having children.  i weighed 120 lbs when i graduated high school.  i did gain weight in college, some muscle, some pizza and grilled cheese sandwiches.  playing basketball probably is the only reason i didn't gain 50 lbs my freshman year.  getting married and then pregnant was probably what did it in for me.  i wasn't trying to please anyone because my husband loved me for who i was.  and let's face it, pregnancy just does wonders (not always good) for your body.  for me, i gained 30 pounds each pregnancy and simply never got serious about taking it back off.  and it's always been a fight.  i hate losing weight.  i would weigh myself every single day, which is a big no-no anyway.  i've never gotten into the world of fad diets, but have always ventured to weight watchers and simply eating healthy.  i've never counted calories, but i have gone to the extreme of not eating at all a time or two.  trust me, it doesn't work.  for 5 years now it's just been about the weight.  my weight comsumed my every thought all day long.  everytime there was an issue at hand, it always came down to "well, i'm fat and i hate myself for being fat and that's why ..."  i never succeeded.  and after each time i failed, i felt uglier and uglier. 
today, there is a small voice inside me telling me to go weigh myself.  i did step on that dirty scale when i found out i was pregnant a few weeks ago, just to have what i thought would be a starting point in that journey.  i haven't stepped on it since then.  part of me has no desire to, part of me wants to see where i am starting out in this new journey.  but because i'm starting to feel beautiful on the inside, the weight doesn't even matter anymore.  i may allow myself to step on the scale in a few months.  i may give in and weigh tomorrow.  who knows, but it's not about the weight for me right now.  it's all about feeling good and being beautiful.  i have walked/jogged at 5:30am for a few days and the change in me is tremendous and i never want to stop. 

weighing less doesn't always mean you are more beautiful.  especially not on the inside.  and if you can't be beautiful on the inside, people may not always notice the beauty on the outside.  it starts from within.  i simply want to be healthy.  for my insides to be beautiful.  so that people will notice my beauty all around.

*this picture was taken on one of my "i feel beautiful" days.

. 290/365 .

i absolutely love reading time at my house.

. 289/365 .

backwards pajamas and a superhero costume.  what more can i say?  this was a moment they were actually playing well together.  they have their moments.

. 288/365 .

she still hates wearing clothes.  most days i make her get dressed.  some days the fight isn't worth it.

. 287/365 .

karsyn took these pictures with my camera.  i think she did a pretty good job and i LOVED seeing the product of her imagination.  she surprises me so much at the things she loves and the things she takes time for.  she meticulously thought out each picture before she took it.  i {heart} my little photographer.

. spilt milk .

yep.  today i spilled a cup of milk.  took a picture.  and thought of a blog.  that's how i roll.  only this time, i didn't cry.  remember yesterday when i mentioned this rough season i've been in?  i've cried over everything.  seriously.  from the obvious emotional things, to not having a soda to drink in the morning, to my best friend being 453 miles away, to all the good things that did happen, to friends who surprised me, to friends who i thought would surprise me and didn't, to hubby's truck having to be fixed again, to not seeing my mom in almost a month.  you name it.  i cried. 

today i realized that, in order to be beautiful, you need to be ok with crying.  sometimes it hurts.  several times my heart fully ached.  that deep down pain that makes you clench your chest when you cry.  usually those cries came when i was in the shower alone.  sometimes i laughed afterwards thinking how silly i was being.  sometimes i felt the urge to cry, but then remembered how much God loves me and the urge went away. 

beauty comes from also realizing that i'm a mom and not a saint.  so many times i've caught myself trying to impress people.  to impress a friend who i so desperately wanted attention from.  to impress my children.  to impress my mother-in-law.  to impress my husband.  to impress my neighbors.  all in all, i never thought about how i never need to do anything to impress God.  He loves me and thinks i'm beautiful no matter what.  no matter what i do.  no matter who i think i am or feel i need to be.  no matter what i cry over.  He thinks i'm beautiful and that makes it all worth the tears. 

so cry.  be beautiful, be confident, and cry.  cry your ever-lovin' eyes out if you have to.  because it's those "spilt milk" cries that are so cleansing sometimes. 

. 286/365 .

here's my chalkboard today.  it's kinda my new motto.  the past few weeks have just been ugly.  in a matter of 3 weeks, i found out i was pregnant, had a miscarriage, and lost 2 relatives and, as a result, have just felt ugly.  the feeling is almost indescribable and "i'm fine" has rolled off my tongue quicker and more often than ever before.  you want people to see you happy.  to see that you really are fine, but inside you just feel ugly.  it's just been a rough season in my life and i'm more than ready to move on and see where God leads me.  so ... in comes the new motto... 

be beautiful.  inside and out.  i'm focusing on it for myself.  in order for others to see me as beautiful, i have to see myself as beautiful.  it's definitely not always easy.  and it's definitely a mindset that requires discipline, devotion to God, and lots of prayer.  today, i started my day off with a sweet friend.  i know for a fact that i struggle with things simply because i spend my days in my house with 5 children.  i absolutely love my job, but to be inside 5 days a week with 2 year olds can be a little hard on one's soul.  no matter who you are.  so starting my day with an adult friend, exercising, was absolutely wonderful.  it makes me feel so much better inside and out!  i've been taking care of my spiritual with daily scripture readings and prayer and today i started with my body. 

it feels good and is exactly what i needed today!  be beautiful.  it makes me smile when i read it.  which is the perfect start to my mission.

. the 2 day kitchen clean .

no, really.  it took 2 days.  here's a little bit about me.  when i'm in a funk, when i'm down, when life is just crazy, apparently i don't clean anything.  ever.  it's just been a crazy last few weeks and when i tell someone that my house is horrible, i always, ALWAYS, get these responses ... "oh, please." "it can't be worse than mine." or "i seriously doubt it's that bad."  to prove to you all that i don't have it all together like you think i do, here was my kitchen the other day ... {note: i HATE my kitchen.}

another note: this post is long.  mainly b/c i'm home all day, every day with 5 children.  today this was my adult time.

yowzers!  i even super sized it so you could see the nastiness.  you're welcome.  seriously, i could have almost been called to be on hoarders.  pure nastiness.  i'm just keeping it real, folks.  it has literally taken me 2 days to clean it.  now, if i would have just done it all at once, it may have taken me an hour or so, but i haven't had an hour without something happening.  and i apologize to my mother who is probably utterly embarrassed that i posted these pictures!  i promise, mom, when you come see me friday, you will have clean sheets on your bed.  maybe.  anywho .. the kitchen slowly got better.  notice it was night time in the first picture, and pure daylight in the 2nd?! 

it seemed like everytime i started cleaning again, there was a dishwasher full of dirty dishes.  and we all know that you have to be able to load the dishwasher to even start cleaning.

it slowly got better and i was able to see counterspace.  karsyn said "i didn't know we had a stove."  ok, y'all .. it was bad .. but it hadn't been bad for THAT long.  i promise.  kinda.  and here is the after picture ...

i'm pretty sure i heard my kitchen let out the biggest sigh when i was all done.  and although the big, ugly brown cabinets are still, well, big, ugly, and brown .. at least it's clean and looks so much better.

now, for a few pictures that can teach you a little bit about me, cause i know you all wonder sometimes.

fact about me #1 ... i ALWAYS drink from a straw.  never ever will you see me without one.  ever.

fact about me #2 ... i HATE kleenex.  hate them with a passion.  i'm pretty sure it's weird, but i don't care.  i can't stand how they feel, especially when you pull them apart.  i only have them for my mother-in-law who uses them just as much as, well, never mind.  she uses them a lot.  me?  my nose hardly ever runs.  if so, i just wipe it on my sleeve.  ok, not really.  we use lots and lots of baby wipes around here.

fact about me #3 ... in that picture, very small and even more blurry, is a little thing of carmex.  i use carmex all day, every day.  and i have never actually finished a little thing of carmex.  i always lose it.  always.

fact about me #4 ... i keep my camera on my counter all the time.  it's not in this picture because i was using it.  duh! 

and the hand sanitizer is there just for looks.  i always wash my hands, but forget to use the sanitizer.  it's bigger than the kitchen sink b/c i left hubby in charge of buying it.  'nough said.

fact about me #5 ... i keep my utensils in mason jars.  i love all things mason.  well, only jars really. 

fact about me #6 ... i'm not sure at all whether keeping utensils in mason jars is sanitary, nor do i care.  they are cute and that's all that matters.  if they get a little dusty, i just do a little knee swipe and all is right in the world again.  ok, that may be exaggerating just a little.  maybe. 

and that's everything but the kitchen sink.  no, wait .. i have a picture of that too ...

fact about me #7 ... i ONLY buy orange dish soap.  just because i can. 

and my sink is a little spotty.  anyone know how i can get rid of that?! 

so there you have it folks.  just when you think that "erin has it all together and is super organized and clean."  think again.  i never invite friends over b/c i don't want them to see how my house really is.  now they know.  so, come on!

. 285/365 .

the art of washable markers. 

. 284/365 .

part of our "good girl jars".  one day in and they are working great!

. good girl jars .

i first saw the idea of "good girl jars" on pinterest, here and here, and thought it was a great idea that i wanted to try to do with my girls.  my whole point of doing them was because i feel like i focus way too much on the negative things that my girls do instead of the positive.  always saying "no" instead of saying "great job!"  i'm not totally a horrible mother though.  i do let them know when they've made me happy or have actually listened, but it seems like the bad always outweighs the good.  and i don't want that to be the case.  at all.  so these were the perfect opportunity for me to focus on the positives.

this was a rather quick and easy project to do.  first, i gathered 6 small mason jars.  i only found them in a pack of 12 at walmart for like $8 or something like that.  the big jars i bought at michaels for $1.99 each.  all the fillings i found at hobby lobby.  yes, i was all over town that day, but i wanted to get it done. 

the point of this is that when they do one of these things, they get to get one of the fillings out and put it in their big jar.  so the orange top is for eating good.  inside is clear/white flower beads.  the green is for bedtime.  we struggle with bedtime every single night.  so if they stay in their bed and don't get up, they get a jingle bell.  the blue is for being kind to others.  they are blue pebbles.  those glass jar filler things.  pink is for picking up.  i make my children pick up their toys every night before bedtime.  if they do it without fussing, they get a pink pom pom.  that one applies to anytime all day long.  the yellow one is for doing other good things.  mainly listening.  and that one is a yellow pom pom.  the purple is for washing hands.  i know, that's a weird one, but it's something we struggle with.  so if they remember to wash their hands, they get a little plastic coin thing.  i'm not sure what they are called.  you can obviously fill your jars with anything you want.  my focus was cheap.

each girl gets her own big jar to fill.  every time they do one thing, they get to pick one out of the little jar and put it in their big jar. 

the rewards were the hardest part for me.  instead of being specific, i just drew 3 lines, each numbered 1-3.  i'm going to try this and see if it works.  i didn't want to reward with food all 3 times, nor did i want to take my children to the store to buy a toy.  that's not my thing.  so i left them blank so i could decide each time what the reward was.  i could easily change them week to week if needed. 

this week, line 1 is ice cream with daddy.  so when they fill their jar to that line, that is their reward.

line 2 is a trip to the park.  i always want line 2 to be something fun, with physical activity involved.

line 3 is to make a special treat with mommy.  this may have to change.  i'm not real sure what another good "top reward" is, but my children love to bake and do crafts.  i'm thinking i'm going to create a basket to keep with "line 3 rewards" with cake mixes, icing, special craft projects, etc. 

the tops of the jars i just made in publisher, printed, cut, and glued to the top of the jars.  easy peasy.

and, so far, it's working!!



. 283/365 .

no matter what my mood or how yucky life may be, this little face always makes me smile.             even with pink donut icing!

. 282/365 .

yes, this is a big ol' dent in my living room wall.  it's not really THAT big, but big enough.  i noticed this after last saturday when i was gone all day and daddy was in charge.  i asked karsyn if she knew what happened.  her response?

"daddy got a little crazy with the stick horse."

daddy has some explainin' to do.

. 281/365 .

mykah got this bracelet the other night.  can you read it?  it says ...

"i'm not a bully." 

boy does she need that one as a reminder to her daily!!

. 280/365 .

poor izzy had to have a bath.  how sad does she look?!

. 279/365 .

shrek in a jar.  that's what i like to call it anyways. 

this week has been an attempt to overhaul my soul.  overhaul my mind, my emotions, my everything.  ok, not really my everything, but i tend to take zero time for myself.  i'm lucky if i actually shower 3 times a week.  seriously.  if this thing had smell-o-vision, you'd turn it off.  i actually did take a shower last night though, so i smell like roses right now, but any other time .. i'd stank!

back to the point ..

i really take no time for myself.  i feel gross.  i feel tired.  i feel lazy.  i feel nasty.  i feel extremely exhausted and run down.  normally i'd just take a vacation.  but i can't do that right now, so instead, i opted for actually taking care of myself. 

enter in shrek in a jar.  i've been doing great with hardly any caffeine, lots of water, lots of vitamins, and lots of fresh air, but my eating still isn't great.  i never eat breakfast b/c i have 5 other mouths to feed at that time.  by the time i give them their plates, they're giving them right back and it's time to move on to the next activity.  so, i thought i'd try green smoothies for my breakfast.  they are so super healthy and i'm really trying my best to get healthy skin and just to feel healthy. 

here's what i put in it ... 2 handfuls of fresh, organic spinach.  2 bananas.  1c. milk, 1tsp vanilla, and crushed up airborne.  i think it was the airborne that did it in.  it had a bitter taste to it.  the dog didn't even like it.  seriously.  i drank about half of it, well, because it's healthy.  and i was hungry. 

shrek in a jar-1    erin-0

i went straight to the fridge and opened up a coke.  not really what i'm going for, but i had to have something!!  i think i'll keep trying until i find the right concoction.  i couldn't taste the spinach at all, so it's the other stuff i gotta work on.  it definitely needs to be sweeter.  we shall see.

. 278/365 .

This week I have really tried to turn my focus to God.  I get busy.  I get way too occupied with life that I let my time with Him slip by without even thinking about it.  Although I haven't made myself get up any earlier to spend quiet time with Him just yet, I've taken baby steps to getting there.  I look to scriptures constantly.  When I feel sad, I look.  When I feel discouraged, I look.  When I feel anxious, I look.  When I feel alone, I look.  When I feel happy, I look.  When I feel thankful, I look.  All day long (in between my time with these 5 kids) I am looking at verses to remind me of His love.  I saw these statements and verses written out on pinterest and thought I'd do it for myself.  As I wrote, I looked up each Bible verse and prayed each one too.  Then I hung it on my refrigerator as a constant reminder at any time.  I felt so amazing afterwards and definitely felt God ever-so-present.

Thank you, sweet Jesus, for guiding me today.

. joshua 1:9 .

this has been my go-to verse this week.  it has really spoken to me and reminded me that no matter how sad i may be, how discouraged i may feel, my God is with me.  right beside me.  here to guide me and strengthen me. 

thank you, sweet Jesus, for always reminding me where my strength comes from.  thank you for always providing peace and comfort in all my days.  amen.

. 277/365 .

say hello to my little friend.

i have never liked chocolate.  i cannot stand chocolate ice cream, cake, or pudding.  and i have to be in the mood for a piece of chocolate candy and it's usually something small.  like this guy.  small, with a whole lot of life.  thanks to a sweet friend, i have had a little bag of them all to myself.  this one was the very last one and he is no longer with us.  i ate the whole bag!!  and they were scrumptious. 

may be a new obsession?!

. 276/365 .

this was today's project.  i forgot to post a picture of the letter A we made, but we are doing a letter a week with the little ones.  karsyn already knows her letters, but she still loves doing crafts.  what she enjoys even more is helping the little ones do theirs.  so, here is our brown bear.

. 275/365 .

i wanted to share a few pictures i took on our trip to warrenton/round top yesterday.  lots and lots of bright colors.  lots of collections of things.  lots of letters.  and lots of really creepy doll heads.

and here's a picture of the quilt i basically stole.  i paid $7.00 for it.

aren't the colors fabulous?!?

we had such a fun time.  i can't wait to go back in april.