. live .

last year i decided that i would pick one word that i wanted to live by throughout the new year.  my word for 2011, if you remember, was "dwell".  i wanted to actually make my house my home and dwell in it.  i did great all last year working so hard to make my house what i want it to be.  it's a lot of work!  and my home still isn't exactly how i picture it, but is a house ever really done?  it's always a work in progress.  so i'm still living out my word from last year as i move into a new year.  i'm still rearranging until i find the perfect spot for something.  i'm still organizing.  this year i'm attempting to live simply.  i want fewer things and more memories.  we've taken several loads of stuff to twin city missions and more will go shortly.  it's just stuff.  and the stuff is getting in the way of living, which brings me to my word for 2012 ...

sounds simple enough.  but it's something i have struggled with.  i am a perfectionist.  i like my routine.  i'm a control freak (yes, i'm admitting it).  i tend to get so bogged down with keeping on schedule and making sure the girls are in bed by 8:00 every single night.  i want to live.  i want to let them stay up late if that means we get to finish watching a movie together and getting popcorn everywhere.  i want to experience more.  i want my children to experience more.  i want to learn new things.  i want to cherish friendships God has placed in my life.  i want to nurture those relationships and develop new ones.  i want to grow closer to that same God that provided all of these things for me.  i simply want to live.

should i add that i turn THIRTY years old this month?  sigh.  i want my 30th year to ROCK.