Thursday, January 05, 2012

. post op update (again) .

but it's the last one!  i had a doctor appointment this morning, which meant yet another ultrasound and more lab work.  my doctor said that everything looks great and even said the words "you're healed!"  although those words were nice to hear, i couldn't help but think that the words "your baby is healthy" or "your babies look great" would be nicer.  healed.  really?  but, it was good to know now that things can move forward and life can go on.  physically, things are looking up. 

after the ultrasound, i met with my doctor in his office to discuss further issues.  i'll be scheduled for an HSG test in the next month or so that will basically flush out the remaining tube to make sure it's functioning properly and to clear out anything that could be causing these issues i'm having.  that'll be another hospital visit, but should be short and sweet.  then i headed down to the lab so they could perform a handful of tests.  that girl took 14 vials of blood.  FOURTEEN!  i don't think i've ever had that many done before.  usually it's one or two.  but fourteen.  there were 11 tests on the lab slip that my doctor wants to run. 

i keep getting asked how i'm doing emotionally.  i'm good.  and no one believes me for some reason.  but i am.  i have days.  but i think that's pretty normal.  i do find myself turning away from pregnant women, or women with small babies.  and it's not that i hate those people that are pregnant or that do have babies.  i have a handful of friends who have had or are in the process of delivering babies right now.  and i'm so happy for them!!  jealousy, maybe?  i wish it was me?  i could try to explain myself all day.  really, i'm doing good.  each day gets better and better, even though i have moments that i'm sad.  i'm constantly looking for encouragement and inspiration in different places and people and God is really providing that comfort that He promises.

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