It's somewhat of a fresh start for us. This summer. You see, last summer was full of trips to and from hospitals across the state. To nursing homes and rehab facilities. To inpatient hospice. Then to a funeral home. It was completely unexpected and still the shock lingers on in us. My mother-in-law fell sick with cancer while on vacation with us. And she never returned home. It was a summer of heartbreak. A summer of exhaustion. Nothing about it was planned and, if we could go back, we'd probably do things different. If we knew it'd be our last summer with her, that is. I don't really know what we would have done different. The summer started immediately with her getting sick while on our vacation. Then school started back with her funeral. She never returned home. She never got to see the kids swim. She never got to make mud pies with the girls, which they did every summer. She never got to take them to get sno-cones, which they did every summer. She never got to help us prepare for first grade. She never got to prep talk Kid2 into starting preschool. She never got to help us start planning Kid3's first birthday. All of these things we thought we'd get to do with her. They never happened.
And now that this new summer is here, my heart is breaking. We miss her something terrible. We're planning our vacation again, which was the very start of our summer last year as well. She went with us. And she never came home. I imagine it'll be a bittersweet trip. I imagine thoughts of the 2 days she was with us there will flood our minds.
We rejoice, however, that she is strolling the streets of Heaven, completely healed. And that's what keeps us going.
