. 241/365 .

 

this morning was different.  much different than yesterday.  i'm still surprised.  she was very eager to get up and get going again.  ate.  did the whole routine.  she had known for several days what she wanted to wear for the second day.  her sparkly shirt.  sparkly belt.  and sparkly shoes.  and she had to tuck her shirt in she said.  oh, and the side pony tail, which somehow ended up just looking like a pony tail in the back that i didn't get centered.  oh well. 

 

she wanted pizza in her lunchbox today.  and milk.  and was ready with 30 minutes to spare. 

 

the hard part came when it was time for her to be dropped off.  today she insisted that i drop her off.  you know, she wanted me to do that yesterday because she "knew where her classroom was already."  i had to explain that mama didn't know where it was, so maybe she could show me.  that's how i got my foot in the door yesterday.  today though.  drop me off.  and i was ok with that.  parking and walking isn't really my favorite thing to do these days with the big belly and swollen feet.  but i would have walked her in every day if that's what she wanted. 

 

but, she wanted to be dropped off.  so we did just that.  as soon as that car door closed and i watched her walk away into the school all by herself, i lost it.  completely.  and have cried for an hour afterwards.  big, ugly tears.  i'll never lose that picture of her walking in from my head.  she had her backpack on.  lunchbox in hand.  opened the door and walked right in.  without me. 

 

and now i want to know.  since when did they start teaching them to be teenagers on the first day of kindergarten?!?  today was hard on this mama!  my mom said it best.  she called me shortly after and i boo hoo-ed to her.  she reminded me that i have raised her to be independent.  i have raised her for this very moment.  i have raised her to be strong and courageous.  i just didn't prepare myself to see that moment. 

 

 

. first day report .

i wondered all day how she would be when i picked her up this afternoon.  would she be quiet?  she tends to not want to talk about things unless it's on her terms.  i brought her some orange juice and chocolate chip cookies because i knew she'd be hungry.  she had a bag of goodies from her teacher that she eagerly showed mykah.  and she said "it was good!"  she told us that she went to art and that the little girl that sits next to her, mary hellen, followed her around all day long.  she talked about that several times and even brought up once that she "tried to get away from her."  i kind of chuckled, but tried to explain to her about being a leader and that maybe mary hellen was scared and saw that karsyn wasn't scared so she wanted to be with her and be her friend. 

she said they got to go on the playground twice and that she did everything by herself all day.  i had several talks with her prior about it being okay to ask for help.  she's VERY independent.  always has been.  and even if she can't do something, she won't ask for help.  so i wanted to make sure she knew that it was ok to do so.  she was very proud to announce that she was able to open her water and her chips all by herself at lunchtime. 

seems like a successful day to me.  and she's more than ready to go back tomorrow.  she was hyper all evening and didn't fall asleep as quickly as i had imagined.  my favorite part was when she came to me not too long after we got home and said "i just want to spend time with you mama."  so we did just that. 

. 240/365 .

. kindergarten 2012 .

today was the day.  the first day my baby went to kindergarten.  today wasn't as hard as i expected.  i cried throughout the preparation of it all, but when it came down to taking her, i was okay.  i cried when david left for work.  he cried when he got in his car.  it didn't help that karsyn was being sassy and saying "i'm going to kindergarten and you're gonna cry!!!"  it's like a dagger to the heart!  we got up early and david had already gone to chick-fil-a for a special first day of school breakfast. 

she was so excited though that the day had finally come.  she did her countdown daily.  told everyone she saw.  picked out her clothes.  and was on cloud 9 for several days leading up to it.  we did have lots of talks because she seemed so anxious about it all.  she is very detail oriented, so she needed to know everything that would happen in advance.

mykah was super excited for sissy as well.  at first anyways.  notice the shirt she picked out to wear today?  big sister in charge.  she took that title and ran with it all day long.  she about sent me into labor by the days end.  seriously.  can you blame her though?  she has NEVER had time alone with just mama.  and she took full advantage. 

she was ready to go quite early.  i'm very thankful that i don't have to drop her off until 8:10.  that will give us plenty of time in the mornings.  she gets up and at 'em though.  she was ready with LOTS of time to spare, which left lots of time for mama to think about the coming events. 

she has insisted all along that she takes her lunch every day as well.  it didn't matter to me either way, so we talked about it lots and she knew what she wanted.  today we packed a ham, cheese, & mayo sandwich, a bag of sun chips, applesauce, a cheesestick, and a gogurt thing.  along with a bottle of water.  i did not include the cooked broccoli that she asked for only because i have to figure out how to pack it to stay warm.  seems like i packed a ton of food too though, but i knew she'd be hungry!

 

right as we got to school, one of karsyn's sweet friends met us at the door.  they aren't in the same class, but her class is right by karsyn's.  i think walking with them helped for sure!  i almost lost it a few times, but was able to hold it together until mykah and i got back in the car.

 

 

and leave it to her.  she walked right in.  emptied her backpack of the last few school supplies she needed.  hung it up.  put her lunchbox where it went.  and strolled right to her desk and started playing with playdoh that the teacher had set out for each kid.  like a pro.  i was VERY thankful for how she did.  i was very unsure and very nervous about how she'd do.  lots of times she quickly returns to me and clings for a while until i bribe her to let go.  nope.  not this time.  she turned teenager on me in a matter of seconds.

 

 

i knew i wanted to make my departure short and sweet.  mainly for myself.  she was a little quiet, but said goodbye and sent us on our way.  honestly, i was shocked that it went so smoothly.  but thankful at the same time.  she's so big!!

. 240/365 .

. preparing for kindergarten .

i cannot believe how fast the new school year has come.  it's ALL new to us as karsyn is our first to go on this journey.  it's been full of ups and downs.  fear of the unknown, rather.  and this mama has come unglued once or twice in the process.  big, fat, ugly tears we're talking.  and the pregnancy hormones don't help a lick. 

karsyn is definitely our "school girl".  she will excel i imagine and be top of her class.  she's a perfectionist and expects only the best of herself.  i'm very thankful for that.  she loves school stuff.  writing.  coloring.  cutting.  learning.  so we don't worry at all about the school aspect of it all.  she'll do wonderfully.  what i worry about is that she's quiet.  she probably won't ask if she has a question.  or ask if she needs help.  or ask if she needs to use the restroom.  she may surprise us though.  she's done that a time or two. 

and the countdown for kindergarten began. 

 

i probably didn't even need a countdown for this kid.  once she heard the first number, she had it going from then on.  she's a planner.  and she's a numbers kind of girl.  she likes to know when it's all gonna happen and in what order.  so the second i told her it was 23 days until kindergarten, we heard the whole countdown each day afterwards.

nana and papa came one weekend and took her school shopping.  they may never volunteer for that again, but we were so very thankful.  she got all of her school supplies, backpack, lunchbox, and even some clothes.  that's when it got real.  and she's been excited every step of the way.

as the days went on, it became even more real.  we got a phone call from her teacher who wanted to schedule a time for a home visit.  she came that next day and we had a nice visit.  she's super nice and i really think it helped the whole process for karsyn.  she was able to see a face and meet her twice before school even starts.

 

meet the teacher night was exciting.  we were able to see her teacher yet again and also take all of her school supplies and see where her desk will be.  her school is the smallest elementary in the district, which is why we love it.  it was so easy to walk in and find her class. 

 

 

we received even more information that evening and was able to ask questions about little things that we were unsure of, which made this mama's worried heart take a breather.  there's still some worry there, of course.  i've been her teacher.  i've been her supporter.  i've been her helper.  i've been the one she runs to all day, every single day.  and now i won't be there for 7 hours of her day.  that stresses me out!  what if she needs me?  what if she needs help opening her drink at lunch? 

 

i know the answers to all of these.  i know it's always harder on the mama than it is on the child.  and i'm sure she'll do just fine without me by her side.  we're so excited to see how she grows this year.  to see what kind of girl she turns into.  what new things she'll learn.  and to pray even harder that she knows who she is and what we've taught her. 



. this girl .

 

i don't even know if words can describe her.  she's a HOOT!  God definitely gave her to us to lighten the mood.  to add even more laughter.  and to keep us on our toes.  the things that come out of her mouth i couldn't even make up.  she's a dancer.  a booty shaker.  a music maker.  a jokester.  full of personality.  drama queen.  just a barrel of laughs all day, every day. 

 

and i love all of that.  she wouldn't be our mykah reese without that personality.  and she's sure to give anyone she comes in contact with a run for their money.