Saturday Encouragement : Change

These words hit me hard.  For the longest time I have hated my body.  Hated the way I look, how my clothes fit, how no clothes fit.  How my baby belly never goes away.  I fret.  I have spent hours, days, weeks, months, and years with this hatred. 

And now I realized that "If you change nothing, nothing will change."  I could spend so much time hating my body, but that won't change it.  If I don't put in the work to change it, nothing will change.  And I've KNOWN that.  Here's the difference.  I've KNOWN it.  Now I'm DOING it.  I've known that if I just ate healthy, my weight would change.  I've known that if I just exercised, my body would change.  I've taken KNOWING and DOING and put the two together.

And, guess what?!?  I'm actually seeing results.  You have to DO.  You can't think about it.  Just do it.
Someday I'll get the courage to post progress pictures.  In just 1 week of clean eating and doing T25, I can see major changes.  It's crazy.  And it motivates me to keep going and to not give up.

So today, I hope you decided to stop thinking about it and start doing it.  Trust me, it's worth it.

It's my biggest fear

{Heads up.  This is some rambling with no pictures!}

We all have fears in life.  The fear of heights and snakes are two real fears that come to mind.  I'd have to list snakes as one of my top fears and have often said that "the only good snake is a dead one", I would say that snakes are not my number one fear.  You probably wouldn't guess what is either.

My biggest fear right now is that my children will be overweight.  True story.  I actually fear that my children will know what it is like to be obese.  And it's up to me to make that NOT be a reality.  You see, my husband grew up overweight.  It's something that he has struggled with for so many years and is finally facing his weight and punching it in the face.  I'm so proud of him.  He was raised on fast food though.  Raised by two obese parents and never taught the importance of eating healthy.  I wasn't overweight until I was married, pregnant and in control over my own eating.  I literally went crazy on the fast food and eating out.

I won't quote any statistics about childhood obesity, but both of my daughters have shown that if they do not learn right now the importance of eating healthy and exercising, they could be overweight at some point.  Now, don't go thinking that I'm one of those moms who already has their daughters on diets and focuses on their weight.  I absolutely never mention the word "fat" in front of them.  We have weighed them once, just so I could see their BMI, but we just made it a game to see their "number".  We ALWAYS talk about healthy eating and how important it is for our bodies.  We talk constantly about how mommy hasn't always been healthy, but how I'm working hard to be healthy so I can have energy to play with them.

Now.  BMIs.  Mykah is actually "at risk for being overweight".  Karsyn is "a healthy weight".  Mykah only weighs about 5 lbs less than Karsyn and they are 2 years apart.  I used to worry about Karsyn until she started school and she stayed even more active/busy and grew taller.  I do worry about Mykah because she is my child who fights me every chance she gets when it comes to eating fruits & veggies.  She also is my lazy child who hates any form of exercise.  Her actually enjoying soccer was a big shock to us because she has never had an interest in moving in any way.

Sadly, it's only been in the last year that we have actually eaten healthy.  Before then, we did feed our family fast food, cookies, chips, sodas, and whatever else we had that was convenient, full of sugar, and who knows what else.  In all of my pregnant years, I kept my toddlers happy with snacks.  All day.  And movies.  All day.  I could go on and on about the regrets I have for not showing my family how to be healthy from day 1, but the important thing is that we are fighting to be as healthy as we can right now.

What do my kids eat?  We do still eat some processed foods.  If you look in their lunchboxes, you will see frozen Smucker's PBJ sandwiches, but you'll also see organic apple slices, whole grain crackers, and several other healthier options.  Karsyn prefers to take a package of pretzels for snack and actually eats lunch in the school cafeteria almost everyday.  We do get Little Ceasar's pizza every once in a while and eat out more on the weekends than we should.  We are trying.  It's a process.  Tonight for dinner, we did have grilled chicken, asparagus spears, and seasoned brown rice.  The kids eat frozen waffles many mornings for breakfast, paired with some sort of fresh fruit.  We also dig Tyson chicken nuggets.

Bottom line is, I have chosen to let my kids be kids, but doing so in a way that is as healthy as I can make it at this time.  Conveniences is huge.  Price is huge.  And getting them to actually eat is huge. 

It's a process, like I said.  And I'm so thankful we have chosen this path right now and for the rest of our lives.  I feel like I'm giving my children the tools they need to lead a healthy life and to make the right choices later on.  My children being overweight is definitely my biggest fear, but it's a fear that I feel I can now face because of the tools I have to teach them and keep them as healthy as I can.

My Reasons

Everyone has a reason for starting their journey.  No matter what the journey, actually, there is always some sort of of motivation that sets the journey into play.  No matter how long the journey takes, the reason is always there.  Here are my reasons ...

Aren't they the perfect reason?

I could so very easily dwell on the fact that for the past 8 years I have not taken very good care of myself.  I could dwell on all of the fast food I've consumed, soda I've downed, and lack of exercise.  I could.  But I choose to focus on moving forward for my reasons.  They are more than worth it.

I constantly tell myself, as well as anyone else I have a chance to tell, that the most important part is picking back up and moving forward.  So you have a bad meal, drink a soda, eat bad all weekend, have a bad week eating, have 2 bad weeks.  It's okay!  Pick yourself back up and get back on it.  Giving up completely shouldn't be an option.  Being healthy is a journey.  It's a lifestyle that should never end.  I'm not on a diet, I'm on a journey.  And I'm not quitting now!!

Is that fall I feel?

It was a brisk 45 degrees outside this morning when we took kid1 to school.  I absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVE everything about this time of year, and I certainly hope the weather stays cool.  With our luck, it'll be 90 next week.  Oh, Texas, why do you do this to me?

In other news ... the Hills had pizza for dinner last night.  Yes, that's important.  I ran into a friend at the grocery store (that was my "me time" for the week.  late night grocery shopping.  i'm glamorous like that!) and she was asking me what we eat, knowing that we were filling our bodies with healthier foods.  I would love to claim that we eat clean 100% of our week, but that's not reality.  Last night, Little Ceasars filled our bellies.  And we enjoyed every bite.  The true reality is, we are eating healthier.  I'd say 80-90% of the week we eat pretty darn healthy.

And by healthy, I mean grilled chicken, fruits, veggies, & brown rice.  We don't get complicated.  We don't get organic and paleo-ish.  We're not there yet.  I try to do my best to watch our sugar intake and make sure we're getting our grains.  But the truth is, we're human.  We don't deprive so that we don't over-indulge later.  It was just a pizza kind of night.

My Journey

I wanted to jump right out there and share with you where I've been, as well as where I am now.  It's been a journey for sure.  Most of you probably already know where I've been, but here's a picture to show you from September 2012 to about March 2013.

I went from baby in belly, to dropping 50 lbs in a matter of months.  I was going strong.  I was motivated.  AdvoCare had helped me and I was so proud of my accomplishments.  My lowest weight at that point was 188 lbs.  Yep.  I was 238 lbs when I delivered Jaxton.  I knew I weighed a lot, but had no clue I was to the point where I needed to lose 50 lbs.  And more.  Yep, I need to lose 50 more pounds to be where I need to be.  How in the world had I let myself get to where I NEEDED to down 100 pounds? 

Summer came.  My mother-in-law was sick and in a hospital 3 hours away, which took my husband away most days.  I was also taking 2 online classes for my nursing degree, plus doing all of my duties at home and raising 3 kids.  To say I was stressed would be the understatement of the year.  I gained 15 pounds back by the end of August and was back up to 203.  I hovered back and forth at that weight for another month. 

Here's the trend I had set for myself.  I do good all week long.  I'd lose 3-4 pounds, then overeat on weekends, putting me back up to where I was.  It was a vicious cycle that I still struggle with.  Now, my father-in-law is in hospice care and I refuse to let stress eating get me again. 

Here are my stats as of today ....

SW (starting weight) - 238 lbs
LW (lowest weight) - 188 lbs
GW (goal weight) - 145-150 lbs
CW (current weight) - 194.5 lbs

 There it is, for all the world to see.  Mentally, I'm there.  I'm on track.  I'm eating healthy, taking my AdvoCare supplements, drinking my water, and I'm focused.

How do you combat stress eating?  Share some of your tips!!!

Changing Lives

You know the story.  Life gets busy.  The blog is left to suffer.  Our life was turned upside down in August when we learned that my sweet mother-in-law would not make it through her 2 months of sickness.  Her body wasn't well and a mere 2 1/2 days later, she went to be with Jesus.  It was one of those completely unexpected, sudden deaths that we certainly weren't prepared for.  David lost his mom.  I lost my mother-in-law, but also my friend.  My kids lost their MiMi, who they truly adored.  She was part of our daily life.  And now she's gone.  Our hearts ache.  But the thought of her rejoicing and her body being completely healed is comforting.

We're trying to pick back up and get our lives moving again.  I answer the weekly "I miss MiMi" pleas that my daughters cry out.  We try to comfort them and explain it to them as best as we can, but that hole we have will be there for quite a while, possibly always.

Now we're at it again though.  David's dad is nearing the end of his journey with us as well.  He's been in the hospital setting for 2 years now and, as the doctor said, he is "failing to thrive".  Our hearts are aching even more now, since not having even started to recover from losing his mom. 

Thankfully, we know where our hope lies.  God does promise us life, but he also promises death.  And to that we cling to. 

This blog is about to get a whole new mission.  I am going to try to focus it on changing lives.  If I've learned anything through losing 2 parents in a matter of months, it's that people make a difference.  People loved my mother-in-law.  We had support and continue to have support from so many people who cared for her.  My father-in-law is the same way.  I want it to be the same when it's my time to go.  I want people to remember me for the impact I had on them.  So, the blog will be about my family; about our daily life; about our journey; about the things we do; trips we take; milestones we reach; school activities, holidays; etc.  But it will also be about our journey to becoming the healthiest family we can be.  We haven't done the best job so far, but AdvoCare has changed our life.  I want to share that journey with you, so that hopefully I can impact your life as well.  My in-laws were not healthy people.  I want more than anything for my husband to live through his 60's.  Not in a hospital.  Not on tons of medication.  I don't want our children to have to go through what we have the past few years.  My mother-in-law was 62.  My father-in-law is currently 69.  I want to live way beyond those years, but do so with the impact that they had on everyone they knew.  My mother-in-law was the sweetest, most caring person.  She never met a stranger and she kept us laughing.  My father-in-law was a giver.  He wanted to help people and he was just a good man. 

So, jump on.  This blog is hopefully going to take you places you never imagined.  If I can help or inspire one person, I've done what I came to do.

162/365

Eating healthy is a topic that consumes my mind constantly.  Not just eating healthy really, but BEING healthy.  I really WANT to be strong and healthy so that my children will follow my lead and be strong and healthy all of their lives as well.  I want them to learn what it means to take care of our bodies.  With all of this on my mind, I still struggle daily with making healthy choices.  I have good days and I have bad days.  I also have REALLY bad days.  I'm also an emotional eater.  A stress eater, really.  So with the stress of having David's mom in the hospital and him being gone a lot, I've eaten a whole lot of really bad food.  Then, I wise up and eat good again.  Then, something else hits, and I eat bad again.  It's constant and something that I'm not proud of.  Learning to be healthy is the hardest thing I've ever done, other than being a parent.  It's hard to make healthy decisions day in and day out when you've done nothing but make bad decisions for years. 

I'm trying though.  And I'm not giving up completely.  AdvoCare has helped tremendously and keeps me going.  I want to be the person who has succeeded and helps others find the same success. 

152/365

as a family, we competed in the color run this morning.  it was TOUGH doing this with small children.  i'm pretty sure i carried mykah for 3 of the 3.2 miles we trucked along.  she even managed to pee her pants before we even finished the first mile.  yep.  peed her pants.  she had to go and there was no where to go.  so, my recommendation for anyone wanting to have a 4 year old compete in a race ... make sure they go potty BEFORE you start!  we both smelled like pee by the end, but we made it.   can you tell mykah had fun?

105/365

i normally buy fruit from HEB.  i got this latest bunch of strawberries from Sam's and they are DELICIOUS.  i think i may switch where i shop for produce.  we're buying a ton more fresh fruits & veggies these days and less canned/processed foods.  this little berry was my morning snack. 

healthy home

one of my goals for the year was to make our entire house healthy.  to declutter the home.  to get our bodies moving.  to fill us with healthy foods.  and to make God the head of our household even more, by praying more, reading our Bibles more, and simply talking more about God and what He has done for us. 

we have definitely been eating healthier.  and we spend TONS of time outside moving instead of inside sitting.  our new favorite thing is to load up and find a new walking trail around town.  we are lucky enough to live in a community that loves being active.  running mainly, but getting families active seems to be a big priority these days.  so we have walking trails all over.  and they are trails that we have never been on, just driven by, so it's been fun to explore.

one evening we just went for a long walk, then ended up at the playground close to where we walked.  another night we ate a light dinner at a picnic table, then walked on the trail by where we were.  mykah is the one that is hard to get on board with our plans to be healthy.  she likes to eat and she does not like to walk.  but we're getting there with her.  she knows the importance of being healthy because we talk about it constantly, but her little legs seem to get tired quickly.  until you mention ice cream or playground, then she gets rolling. 

we have LOVED doing this.  the weather has been perfect.  jaxton has done great in the stroller.  and we feel so good afterwards.  on the nights where we don't really want to leave the house, we put jaxton in the stroller and walk the neighborhood.  it's definitely been a good change for our family.

soon i'll post about how we are becoming spiritually healthy in our home.  we KNOW we are blessed and we are doing what we can to make sure God knows how thankful we are for what He has provided us.