Scripture Reading

Psalm 116:2 has been on my heart lately as I've spent so much more time in prayer.  I'm absolutely not bragging about that.  Honestly, it's a rare occurrence for me to constantly pray.  Not because I don't believe prayer is a powerful thing, but because I get so caught up in life that I put my conversations with Him on the back burner "until I have time".  It happens to all of us at some point, I'm sure.  So many things continue to happen in our world though that can only bring me to my knees.  I wake up in prayer these days.  I fall asleep in prayer.  And I pray as much as I can throughout the day.  And, actually, I love my days that I spend in prayer.  LOVE them.

This verse stuck out to me a few weeks ago when a sweet friend of ours went into the hospital with what we found out was a serious lung condition.  She's only 18 and has gone through an incredible amount of pain, surgery, PT, and so much more than I can ever imagine going through, especially at her age.  Yet her and her family have remained prayerful.  They've remained faithful.  They've remained close, if not closer.  They've clung to the cross and probably have also prayed more than ever before.  They've taught so many people, through their trials, that prayer is important.  Remaining faithful is important.  Even if we don't understand it.  They've truly amazed me and I've joined them in praying for Miranda as often as I can throughout my days, that God would breathe a breath of freshness and life into her lungs. 

I thoroughly enjoy my time in prayer now.  So much so that I want to pray for YOU too.  We all have something, big or small, that needs lifting up.  So, tell me ...

Just leave a comment if you'd like or send me an email if it's too personal for you to share.

He delights in every detail

I shared this verse on my business Facebook page on Sunday.  It's a verse that God placed on my heart recently and I didn't understand why He kept bringing it to my attention at first.  Don't you love it when He does that?  I've thought to myself (and Him) countless times - WHY?  Why in the world did you put that on my heart?  What do you want me to learn from this?  What are you trying to tell me?   Sometimes the reasons are quite obvious though.

I struggle greatly with comparison.  I struggle with making decisions.  I struggle with what I want.  What is best.  But it all boils down to comparison.  And we all know that comparison is the thief of joy.  To be truly happy, you can't compare yourself to others.  I know this, but it's something I fight with on a daily basis.

Look at her.  Her skin is amazing.  She has a great body for having 3 (or 8) kids.  Her house is always clean.  I wish I could be her friend.  I like her blog better.  They have so much more money.  Her kids are always dressed cute.  Everyone likes her so much.  I wish I was as crafty as ... I wish I could refinish furniture like ... I wish people knew who I was.  It would be so cool to be a famous blogger.  It would be great to have more than 200 likes on my page.  To be an amazing photographer.  To have 2,000 people in my downline.

In my head, what I have is never good enough.   I'm never as beautiful, wealthy, creative, hip, trendy, funny, social, healthy, smart, and so on.  and so on.  and so on.  For years I've dealt with this.  And I believe so many women do. 

I want to be ME.  I want people to like me for ME.  I want to be original.  Be myself.  Feel comfortable in my own skin.  Be who He created, because He knows every detail.  He planned every detail.  He made me ME. 

It's not about an awesome blog that gets 10,000 hits a day or a Facebook page that has 1,000 likes.  It's not about impressing someone so she'll want to be your friend.  It's not about any of that.  It's about loving me for who I am and not being afraid of showing people ME.  Because God loves me for me.  And that's enough. 

Scripture Reading

Here's some honesty for you.  We haven't been to church in months.  We're in search of a new church home and simply feel lost in a town full of churches.  I know that it starts with a small step.  We just have to decide which church we want to visit first.  I'm not going to go into all the details about why we feel lead to find a new church home.  And I feel ashamed that we've put ourselves into this comfort zone of not going anywhere to worship in months.

I'm so thankful for a God who draws me back to where I need to be though.  He's put it on my heart greatly the last few weeks that I need to refocus.  I need to redirect my thoughts and my life.  I spend so much time on social media because my full-time job (other than taking care of my children) is network marketing.  But I spend all of my time with those 2 jobs and not enough time in His word.  And He's calling me back to Him so strongly.

BUT - I didn't know where to start.  Getting back into the Word is like riding a bike.  You just have to do it.  And then you remember why you loved it before.  I found a calendar from a Christian magazine that gives me a scripture a day to read.  The one on the day I started was Deuteronomy 31:6 and I think it's fitting for our struggles right now.  Not only have we lost a church family, we've lost FAMILY.  We've lost two parents in a matter of seven months, but God is calling me close to Him and telling me not to get so discouraged. 

I've started a prayer journal along with scripture reading and I'm loving it.  I miss writing with a pen and paper.  I miss jotting down my feelings, but I also want to share it with you when I feel lead to do so.  Yesterday, my prayer was this ... 

Dear God, Thank you.  Time and time again you show me that you've got this.  I need to put my full trust in You and be strong in You.  Although I drift, you remain steadfast and constant.  I cannot do this life without you and ask for you to help me stay focused on Your face and to be strong and courageous no matter what.  Thank you for guiding me.  For loving me.  

Some other things I'm praying for -
-for Him to lead us to a new church home
-for guidance in creating a Christ-like home full of prayer, forgiveness, and love
-for Miranda Nichols : a sweet girl who is very sick
-for patience, time, health, smart decisions, and healing

What are you praying for today?

55/365

"When God allows extraordinary trials for His people, He prepares extraordinary comforts for them."  Corrie Ten Boom

I spent time this afternoon thinking about and praying for so many of my dear friends who are hurting right now for different reasons.  You know, in the past 4 months, one friend lost her sweet, sweet mother.  One friend had 2 miscarriages.  One friend lost a baby late in her pregnancy, for the second time this year.  One friend lost her baby late in pregnancy right after complications from in-utero surgery.  I had a miscarriage and then emergency surgery for another miscarriage and tubal pregnancy combined.  Those are just the ones that come to mind as I type this.  It's been a HARD last few months.  I was doing great too, early this week, and now I'm drifting back a bit.  So many trials.  So much sadness around us. 

BUT ... there is hope.  And I know where to find it.  And thankfully each of the friends I mentioned above knows where to find it too and they've all turned to God since their own trials, although they have grieved and continue to grieve to this day.  Loss, especially of a pregnancy or baby is so hard to understand.  I never asked God why he took away three babies from me.  I never hated God for allowing that to happen.  But there was deep sadness about it.  I don't understand it.  I never will.  How do you birth two healthy babies, then lose the next three? 

Thankfully, God does not put us here to understand why things happen.  He does not give us trials to understand.  He gives them to us to pull us closer to Him and to rely on Him on a much deeper level than ever before.  The sadness, the worry, the emotions of it all will still be there and don't take away from the faith in Him.  He just asks us to trust in Him fully, without wavering.  I struggle with that.  I do.  I'd totally be lying if I said that I fully trust His every move all the time and He was the first person I thought of when the doctor uttered the words "I'm sorry, you've miscarried."  Selfishly, I thought of myself those times.  When I heard the news of my each of my friends, I immediately grieved.  I didn't praise Him.  How do you praise Him when someone you loved or a baby you longed for is taken away?  That's the hardest thing and I'm struggling with that a little today.  To praise Him.  To love Him.  To honor Him.  To trust Him.  To think of Him above all others.  To fully rely on His words, His actions, His comforts, His peace.  It's definitely what I want to do.  It's definitely where I want to be in my relationship with Him.  Below are just a few of the many verses that I've been reading to help transform my thought process from where it is, to where He wants it to be.  To fully rely on what His plan is for my life and for others.  And what precious promises they are and what amazing, extraordinary comfort they provide.

{Look to the LORD and his strength; seek his face always.  1 Chron. 16:11}

{The LORD is faithful to all his promises and loving toward all he has made. The LORD upholds all those who fall and lifts up all who are bowed down. The eyes of all look to you, and you give them their food at the proper time. You open your hand and satisfy the desires of every living thing.             Ps. 145:13-16}

{"For I am the LORD, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you." Isaiah 41:13}

{"God has poured out his love into our hearts." Romans 5:5}