Purse Problems

Just in case you're wondering, Kid3 woke up feeling great today.  Thank you, Jesus.  No more throw up and asked to eat as soon as his feet hit the floor.

So, this happened last week ...

Contents :  diapers/wipes are in the big aqua bag.  nail clippers, band-aids, brush, hair bands, who knows what else is in the orange bag.  snacks are in one of the small linen bags.  dinosaurs are in the other.  Jaxton's forks and spoons are in the shark bag. and all of the essential oils I have to have at all times are in the chevron bag.  lip balm. gum.  thieves hand sanitizer. and more baby wipes.  you can never have too many baby wipes.

I was so tired of the purse I had been carrying around for what seems like the last 10 years, that I dumped the contents of it all over my dryer and just left it.  For days.  I only carried around my wallet and, of course, my Carmex.  That was it.  I was so over it.  You know, the big tote / purse / bag / throw-all-your-stuff-in-and-never-find-it-when-you-need-it.  Happens all the time to me.

And how do I lose stuff when I have it all in smaller bags inside my big bag?  I don't even know what happens, but I was OVER. IT.

What's even dumber than me dumping the entire contents of my purse all over the dryer?  It sat here for a few days, then I put it ALL. BACK. IN.  All to carry around the dumb thing again.

Please tell me I'm not the only one who has never found the perfect purse.  If so, you are obligated now to share it with me.

Day 22

Day 21

spring?

is that you?

every year i hate the cold-in-the-mornings, but hot-in-the-afternoons weather.  it. makes. me. crazy.  and that's how it's been.  we have to wear coats when we take karsyn to school and by lunch time we are able to be in shorts and flip flops.  thank you, texas.

the last few days, however, have been uh-mazing.  windows open.  breeze blowing.  allergies flaring because of said windows open.  the girls play outside for hours.  little man swings for hours.  we eat meals outside.  all of the above.  it's been perfect.

. "hail" of a day .

let me get right to it.  it rained this afternoon.  and hailed.  i was trying to think of a funny title.  i'm a little lame, i know.  i'm used to it.  i was totally expecting it to storm at 1:00 this afternoon.  it blew in about 12:45 and was a doozy.  it POURED and hailed horribly all at once.  our sidewalk flooded and our front yard looked like a typical texas snow day.  only the snow was "ice cubes" as the kids called it.

my camera didn't really capture the hail that was bouncing off the ground.  but it was there.  and here...

it was piled on the front porch.  and here ...

i'm telling you.  typical texas snow.  it piles here and there, but the ground below looks like springtime.  it's a tad ridiculous.  i was shocked that it came down so hard and so much at once.  and i almost let karsyn go play in it.  the rain that is.  then, just as she stepped foot outside, i realized it was hailing and called off the troops.  she was a little disappointed, but this is how we entertained ourselves for the next few minutes ...

yep.  "lift up your shirt and put your belly on the door to see if it's cold!"  we're real educational 'round here.  they thought it was fun.  no, i didn't participate.  it was quickly time for nap, which i was a little nervous about since it was storming pretty wildly outside.  there's nothing better than a nap while it's raining though.  the littlests (is that a word?) napped and the biggest played in the puddles as soon as the rain and hail stopped. 

poor knobby kneed girl.  i had to take a picture of this.  her legs are so skinny, her knees bang together when she runs.  i'm assuming that's normal. 

it was a crazy day.  for some reason i had my mind set that since it would be raining, it would be calm.  very mellow.  everyone in pajamas singing kumbaya.  it was quite opposite.  but it was fun and no one got hurt.  yup, i set my goals high.

. these days .

maybe it's 'cause i'm about to be the big THREE-OH?!  like i'm really an adult now?  i dunno.  but it's working me over big time.  i've been a mom now for 5 years.  i've owned a house now for 5 years as well.  but making it my home instead of my house?  being a good housewife?  feeding my children and husband healthy (and edible) meals daily?  keeping my house clean?  doing the laundry at a reasonable rate?  it's all stuff i've struggled with for all of those 5 years.  it's stuff that i do (when i feel like it), but definitely a source of stress for me. 

you probably think that my house is clean.  you probably think that i have a list and a schedule for cleaning and a daily to-do list and that i keep up with.  you probably think my house stays clean.  why?  because i'm home every single day.  i don't go anywhere from the time i wake up to about 5:30pm if i do choose or need to go anywhere that day. 

reality is that i take care of at least 5 children daily.  from 7:30 am to 5:30 pm.  and then it continues with my own two littles until they go to bed.  my life is taking care of these children.  i play with them, teach them, and take care of them all day long.  they do have their free time when i clean up after meals, but it's constant until they fall asleep at 1:00.  then, i sit.  that's my life.  and i do love taking care of kids.  i certainly feel like that's where God has called me at this stage of the game.  it's my job.  it's what i do.  it supports my family and allows me sweet time with my own two.  it couldn't get much better. 

i'm not complaining about that at all.  i just don't like that i get behind.  i get behind with laundry and cleaning.  so i freeze.  it's almost paralyzing to look around and see all that needs to be done.  so i sit.  and do nothing.  and get even more behind.  and it simply makes me crazy.  and it all starts over the next day.  there are moments when i think about it and allow myself the thought that i'm not the only mom who feels this way.  surely i'm not the laziest person on the planet.  i'm not on hoarders, for goodness sake.  and my house isn't a complete wreck.  it's dirty though.  i'll say that. 

people tell me all the time ... it's ok.  the time you spend with your kids is more important.  it's ok.  you have a million kids in your house.  it's ok.  you'll have time for that later.  it's ok.  you're busy.  and i'm a little tired of hearing that. it's not ok.  i do have time.  it's not like we're stretched in 20 different directions and i work outside the home.  it's not like i have 10 kids of my own.  heaven help me.  my kids go to bed and from 8:00pm until 11:00pm i sit.  and i do nothing.  seriously.  every day of my life.  sometimes there are cookies involved.  and as much as i am a person of change.  as much as i love schedules and lists.  i'm paralyzed.  i'm in this state of not doing anything because there's so much to do.  and every monday is the day i'm going to fix it all.  and by tuesday it's all hopeless once again. 

finding that balance is HARD people!!!  i don't have it all together and i'm not sure if i ever will.  until then, my kids will keep repeating "does it make you crazy, mama?"  i don't want my children to think of me as the mom who always cleaned.  i don't want my children to constantly hear that i can't come play because of i have to clean.  i do keep those separate.  it's making the most of my time when children are busy or asleep to get 'er done.  maybe that needs to be my motto ... get 'er done.  i'm a little redneck at times, so it'll work.

get 'er done.

. 320/365 .

just wanted proof that my living room has been clean.

. the 2 day kitchen clean .

no, really.  it took 2 days.  here's a little bit about me.  when i'm in a funk, when i'm down, when life is just crazy, apparently i don't clean anything.  ever.  it's just been a crazy last few weeks and when i tell someone that my house is horrible, i always, ALWAYS, get these responses ... "oh, please." "it can't be worse than mine." or "i seriously doubt it's that bad."  to prove to you all that i don't have it all together like you think i do, here was my kitchen the other day ... {note: i HATE my kitchen.}

another note: this post is long.  mainly b/c i'm home all day, every day with 5 children.  today this was my adult time.

yowzers!  i even super sized it so you could see the nastiness.  you're welcome.  seriously, i could have almost been called to be on hoarders.  pure nastiness.  i'm just keeping it real, folks.  it has literally taken me 2 days to clean it.  now, if i would have just done it all at once, it may have taken me an hour or so, but i haven't had an hour without something happening.  and i apologize to my mother who is probably utterly embarrassed that i posted these pictures!  i promise, mom, when you come see me friday, you will have clean sheets on your bed.  maybe.  anywho .. the kitchen slowly got better.  notice it was night time in the first picture, and pure daylight in the 2nd?! 

it seemed like everytime i started cleaning again, there was a dishwasher full of dirty dishes.  and we all know that you have to be able to load the dishwasher to even start cleaning.

it slowly got better and i was able to see counterspace.  karsyn said "i didn't know we had a stove."  ok, y'all .. it was bad .. but it hadn't been bad for THAT long.  i promise.  kinda.  and here is the after picture ...

i'm pretty sure i heard my kitchen let out the biggest sigh when i was all done.  and although the big, ugly brown cabinets are still, well, big, ugly, and brown .. at least it's clean and looks so much better.

now, for a few pictures that can teach you a little bit about me, cause i know you all wonder sometimes.

fact about me #1 ... i ALWAYS drink from a straw.  never ever will you see me without one.  ever.

fact about me #2 ... i HATE kleenex.  hate them with a passion.  i'm pretty sure it's weird, but i don't care.  i can't stand how they feel, especially when you pull them apart.  i only have them for my mother-in-law who uses them just as much as, well, never mind.  she uses them a lot.  me?  my nose hardly ever runs.  if so, i just wipe it on my sleeve.  ok, not really.  we use lots and lots of baby wipes around here.

fact about me #3 ... in that picture, very small and even more blurry, is a little thing of carmex.  i use carmex all day, every day.  and i have never actually finished a little thing of carmex.  i always lose it.  always.

fact about me #4 ... i keep my camera on my counter all the time.  it's not in this picture because i was using it.  duh! 

and the hand sanitizer is there just for looks.  i always wash my hands, but forget to use the sanitizer.  it's bigger than the kitchen sink b/c i left hubby in charge of buying it.  'nough said.

fact about me #5 ... i keep my utensils in mason jars.  i love all things mason.  well, only jars really. 

fact about me #6 ... i'm not sure at all whether keeping utensils in mason jars is sanitary, nor do i care.  they are cute and that's all that matters.  if they get a little dusty, i just do a little knee swipe and all is right in the world again.  ok, that may be exaggerating just a little.  maybe. 

and that's everything but the kitchen sink.  no, wait .. i have a picture of that too ...

fact about me #7 ... i ONLY buy orange dish soap.  just because i can. 

and my sink is a little spotty.  anyone know how i can get rid of that?! 

so there you have it folks.  just when you think that "erin has it all together and is super organized and clean."  think again.  i never invite friends over b/c i don't want them to see how my house really is.  now they know.  so, come on!

. oh glorious day .

One day the trumpet will sound for His coming
One day the skies with His glories will shine
Wonderful day, my beloved one bringing
My Savior Jesus is mine
Living He loved me,

Dying He saved me
And buried He carried my sins far away
Rising He justified freely forever
One day He's coming, oh, glorious day, oh, glorious day

Our church service yesterday was a very emotional one.  Not only have we had several losses in our community this past week, but it was also 9/11.  I think I cried through the whole thing.  I can't help but think that our Lord is coming back soon.  There's so much turmoil.  So much sadness.  So much disaster.  I simply can't seem to wrap my mind around it all, so I'm trying my hardest just to turn to Him because I know that's where my future lies.

Tears were streaming as we sang songs such as "Oh Glorious Day" and "Because He Lives".  More tears as the flag was carried through the sanctuary.  More tears as I thought of a sweet friend who just lost her sweet mother.  It's just a sad time right now and I only pray that things either get better, or that Jesus returns soon.  And I still have so many things to be happy about and thankful for.  Being sad is not fun.

So I'm in constant prayer every day for loved ones and friends.  For strangers who have lost homes in the fires.  For our nation.  Goodness does our nation need prayers.  Please pray with me!

. praying for rain .

to me, it feels weird that life continues.  our state is basically covered in fires, but in the places there are no fires, life continues.  as i sat at mr. hill's football game last night, i thought to myself, "it just doesn't feel right that we are sitting here watching football, while homes are burning to the ground not too far away."  what else is there to do though?  life has to continue. 

i feel like i'm in constant prayer for rain.  please Lord, let it rain.  please Lord, hear our prayers for rain.  please Lord, let it rain.  constantly, which i know is what He wants, but i feel like it's not enough.  we need rain so desperately, but what else is He wanting from us besides our prayer for rain?  my mind can't help but to think that He's trying to get our overall attention, not just for rain.  not just for our government.  not just for the recession.  but for everything.  seems as though we've gotten a little greedy and have put God on the back burner and He's letting us know that He's not happy with it.  some say all of these natural disasters means that the world is coming to an end.   my mind can't drift that far.  i'm ready.  i know i'm ready.  but that's so huge.

right now all i can think about is rain to put out this blanket of fire and smoke that is on the great state of texas and the homes that are being destroyed.  to me, homes are not just possessions.  they are where families gather.  they hold memories.  they are where children lay their heads to sleep at night.  and, in the blink of an eye, thousands are lost.  it makes my heart so heavy.

so, my prayer today is ... God, i humble myself before you, begging.  pleading for rain for the state of texas.  please have mercy on us, Lord.

. 234/365 .

i am attempting a new schedule for myself right now, complete with waking up early in the morning to have my quiet time, coffee time with my honey, and blog.  i've been an on again off again blogger, and i'm hoping this will keep me more on schedule with things.  plus, i like the quiet!!

. 231/365 .

this little guy took up residence in our front yard the other day.  i had the sprinkler on and he was having a grand ol' time splashing in a little pudding that accumulated in a small ditch we have in the yard.  he splashed the entire time the sprinkler was going.  i wanted to keep it going just to keep the little birdie happy.  i'm sure he needed some relief from the heat!

. 229/365 .

my poppy made me this shelf and i absolutely love it.  it fits so great in my kitchen and gives me a place to store small things like nail clippers, extra keys, chapstick, and who knows what else i already have stored away.  decorating it is a work in progress though!  i did add the glass knobs, which are my favorite, along with bibles that belonged to both of our grandparents. 

. 227/365 .

this isn't a very good picture.  at all.  but i love the flower that shows up when the rolls are rising before they get baked. 

. lack of .

talk about lack of content.  lack of something good to say.  lack of whatever you want to call it.  i've always (since blogging came around) wanted to be a really good, serious blogger.  really.  i do.  but my brain is stuck somewhere between changing diapers and pick up playdoh pieces out of the carpet.  it just doesn't happen these days.  it'll come back to me, i promise.  i dream of me getting up early, sipping a cup of coffee (which apparently i'm not old enough to drink yet), and blogging before the wee ones get out of bed.  that's a dream and i'm no morning person, so there's no telling what i'd come up with at that hour. 

i either get busy.  forget to take pictures.  or just don't feel like it.  so, here's to feeling like it again and getting back in the saddle. 

. 148/365 .

. 144/365 .

that's one big bus ...

. 136/365 .

pink roses from my honey.

. flour feet .

this evening the girls and i, along with the mimi, made and decorated sugar cookies.  this is just a quick post to let you know that ...

there may be flour on our feet, but the cookies are edibile.  minus the toe-jam {sorry, couldn't resist}.  more on our fun evening later...

. cleaning schmeaning .

i'm admitting it right here.  i'm just not a good cleaner.  i WANT my house to be squeaky clean so badly, but it just ain't happenin'.  i'm not even sure when the last time my entire house was clean all at one time.  now, if i didn't work from home taking care of 6 children at once, it may be cleaner.  or it may not, but the point is, my house ain't clean. 

another factor to the uncleanliness is that i haven't found a product that i love.  until now.  enter in method cleaners.

these are the only two i have bought so far, but on my next trip to target, i'll be getting some more.  and, no, they aren't paying me to say this.  that'd be nice of them though.  i digress.  anyway, love this cleaner!  love the smell.  love the way it cleans.  love the smell.  it's all natural too, which makes it even better. 

so, there you have it.  my house is not clean, but i have amazing cleaning products.  i'm trying, folks.  i'm trying.