. seasons .

i really like that there are seasons of life.  i most definitely don't always like the season that i am in at the time, but sometimes i love it and don't want it to change.  right now i'm in a season that i cannot wait to get out of.  this past week i've been stuck in a rut and am trying to peel myself out and doing so in whatever way i possibly can.  i've missed some sleep.  i've missed some meals.  but life goes on. 

i'm typing this because i am a real person.  i didn't want to.  i didn't want the parents of the children i take care of in my home to think that i'm a crazy person.  i'm not crazy.  i'm human.  just like all humans make mistakes, all humans have struggles.  all humans deal with life in their own ways.  so, yes, i struggle.  but in the same note, i try my hardest to not let my struggles, my grumpiness, or whatever it may be to interfere with the lives of my children, whether they be my own or the 4 others that i get to love on every day.  sometimes i fight the frown through the smile.  ever heard the saying "fake it till you feel it"?  that's what i've lived by the last week.  i'm just in a fog.  just in a pit that i know i'll get out of in a matter of time. 

my ruts typically come about because i stay home.  i stay home all day, every day.  every single day, monday through friday.  if you don't know what that's like, try it and see how you feel by friday.  if i don't take care of myself, take one night a week to just go out with a friend, or have "me" time, satan uses that to drag me down.  and he drags me down fast.  this rut that i am in is a little different, but i know that the same changes will effect my mood, my patience, and my overall health just the same.  tomorrow i have a day off.  and i'm looking forward to it.  i do absolutely love my job.  absolutely.  i have been so extremely blessed to have this opportunity to take care of other babies in my home.  but everyone needs a break at some point.  and the "me" time comes when i make time for it.  having friends has been key for me.  just finding someone who will pray with me, laugh with me, talk to me, and know what i need. 

if you are a stay-at-home mom, you know about ruts.  and we all get out of our ruts in our own ways.  but i take one day at a time.  one hour at a time sometimes.  and with prayer and the right words, it'll happen.  the next seasons of my life is sure to be great.