. do not worry .

yesterday, the first verse i read was philippians 4:6-7 where it says "don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. tell God what you need and thank Him for all He has done. then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus." 

the VERY first thing i read that morning.  i wish i had paid attention then to know that God was actually trying to get my attention with that very verse.  later that day i would receive an EOB from my insurance company that followed suit with the bill i got from my doctor's office the day before.  it explained, not too clearly, that my doctor is out-of-network.  basically i would have to pay $181 every time i had an office visit and ultrasound. 

to say that i was stressed would be an understatement.  i cried.  not only can i afford to pay $181 for one appointment, much less every appointment i go to, but i certainly didn't want to find a new doctor.  this one is amazing.  he is kind and considerate.  he's delivered one of my babies.  he's delivered the news about a miscarraige and more news about a tubal pregnancy of twins.  he's made sure i was ok physically, but emotionally as well.  he knows me.  he knows my body.  how could i just go to someone new.  it stressed me out.  i know doctor's are replaceable.  but i have history with this one and flat out didn't want to find someone new.  my mind was all over the place. 

i went to bed just after being reminded by a sweet friend of that verse that i had read that morning.  she basically told me that i posted that verse on facebook.  i shared it with the world.  and now i'm not believing it.  i took tylenol pm (which helped briefly) to get me to sleep because i knew without it, i wouldn't fall asleep for a while. 

this morning.  i called my doctor.  i anticipated the call for hours.  i just knew they would tell me that they were sorry, but he IS out-of-network and that'd i'd have to figure it out.  the words out of her mouth were "it's a mistake.  it's on bluecross blueshield's end and we are working to fix it.  don't WORRY about it at all."  PRAISE THE LORD!  i'm pretty sure i jumped up and down.  i called my mom.  those two very things, in that order.  as i headed to let my friend know on facebook, it hit me.  God was trying to tell me all along that something would come my way and that i was to not worry about it at all.  He had it.  He knew what would happen.  He knew how i'd react.  He was telling me all along.  What an awesome God that is.  if i had only listened to His plea to me, i would have saved myself lots of diet coke, popcorn, tears, knee bouncing, and stress last night.  if only i had listened.