. james 1:17 .

"every good and perfect gift comes from above."  

james 1:17

i'm still in awe at this little miracle God has blessed us with.  september 21, 2011 was when i miscarried last year.  it was the start of what would be a journey i will never forget.  the story of this sweet little miracle.  that story came full circle on september 21, 2012 when jaxton arrived.  5 weeks early.  but what was obviously God's plan all along.  the steps of this journey were hard at times.  joyous at times.  but always a blessing, no matter what the obstacle my body went through, it was all in perfect timing.  just as james 1:17 says.  my little man came from above.  and i thank the Lord every single day for him.

. yellow baby .

when we were discharged from the hospital on sunday, my little man's bilirubin checked out at 8.2.  they wanted us to schedule an appointment with the pediatrician the very next day just for a check up.  as soon as we walked in, the nurse said "he's very jaundice!"  i hadn't noticed his skin being too yellow until she said that.  she immediately checked his bili level, which came out at 15.3!  the doctor said that was "right at hospitalization level" and we'd have to go get his blood checked as soon as we left.  he wrote up a lab slip, and on we went.  he said sometimes the blood work can come back 2 points higher or 2 points lower than their monitor.  he ordered us to get the blood drawn, then to go home and prepare for a hospital stay.  my heart sank!  i had just been in the hospital for 5 days.  and i absolutely didn't want to go back.  i prayed that his bili level would decrease, but obviously would do what i had to do if they didn't.

we waited a long hour and a half to hear the results.  and they were good.  praise the LORD!  so this is what we did that afternoon ...

 
my little yellow man got to bathe in the sun!  and apparently it helped a little.  the next day, we had to go back for more blood work and his bili level had decreased even more. 

now that i look at him in pictures, he was pretty yellow!  but i'm so very thankful that he is healthy as can be.

. family of FIVE .

i'm still in shock.  i can hardly believe that i have 3 kids.  that God blessed us with 3 children.  to love.  to teach.  to grow.  and, at this very moment, all i wish for is that time would stand still and they would stay little forever.  it's rough on a mama's heart to see her children grow up so fast, but what a joy it is to see them live.  to see them learn.  to see them love and laugh.  and God has allowed me to travel this road three times.  i'm so in love.

. a letter to my son .

oh, sweet boy.  
mama did wonder how i could love another, as most moms do when a new baby is due to arrive.  that love that i have for your sisters has certainly stretched to love you the same.  i will never forget the first time your eyes met mine.  i felt it.  that bond that everyone tells me about.  the one between a mother and son.  it's there for sure.  and my heart melts just thinking about how my love for you will continue to grow.  the last year has been a wild ride, but you were more than worth it.  i feel like God took us on this journey just so He could bring you into this world to our family at just the right time.  and perfect timing it was.  

i can hardly believe how tiny you are.  and how little your features are.  the tiniest ears, nose, and mouth ever.  and sweet as can be.  and although mama knows nothing about raising boys, i'm so thankful you are the boy i get to raise, love, teach, and grow.  my prayers is that God has equipped me to be the best mama you could ever hope for.  that you would learn about the love of God right away and how truly and richly blessed you are.  you are our miracle.  our baby that we thought we weren't going to have.  and here you are.  our perfect gift from above.  

i love you, little man.
xoxo mama

. he's here .

and he's perfectly perfect.

jaxton parker hill.
born at 35 weeks.
september 21, 2012.
7:02 am.
6 pounds 5 ounces.
18 3/4 inches.
perfect.