. in a mommy rut .

does that even make sense?  do you ever feel like you're in a mommy rut too?  or is it just me?  well, i have been lately.  so far down i don't know how to climb back out.  other than switching medicines, i feel lost. 
the mommy rut that i'm in right now consists of simply feeling lost.  i know that i'm just 6 weeks into having two babies right now, but this is the life i chose for myself.  this is the life i feel that God chose for our family.  why is it so hard?  no one said it would be easy and i don't expect it to be.  i guess at 6 weeks in, i thought i could be super mom and have it all figured out.
i feel like my family is just living day to day with no purpose.  we eat, sleep sometimes, play, and repeat the cycle day in and day out.  our biggest problem i KNOW is that, since becoming pregnant and not feeling well ever, we stopped going to church as much.  that hits a family hard.  especially when that is what you have relied upon for so long.  so the first thing i can do to get out of this rut is to deepen my relationship with God.  where do i begin?
so, mommies.  ever been where i am?  lost.  feeling alone.  how did you dig your way back out? 
and how can i feel this way when i get to look at these cute faces every day?

. wordless wednesday * tummy time turned nap time .

 
 

. it's like CRACK .

(after-the-fact-disclaimer : i have never, past, present, or future, experimented or know first hand the effects of said illegal drug.  its an obvious assumption and observation made.)
i have found a few things in my life are very similar to CRACK.  yes, the illegal drug. crack.  {warning:  some of the following you may find strange and out of control}
in a surprise burst of energy (or insanity if you ask my favorite man), i did a total cleaning and reorganization of my entire house today.  amazing, i know.  not only did we "donate" four bags of junk, we also threw away two bags of complete trash.  through this process, i discovered some things about myself that i didn't realize before and also came about the definition of my OCD tendencies, which i knew were already a problem area.
"it's like crack" #1 : my new found way of organizing our medicine.

  
seriously.  although this isn't an actual picture of OUR medicine, i copied it and ours is very similar.  same container.  same bags, just different labels.  we have ear, nose, eye meds.  tummy meds.  pain relievers.  allergy meds.  cold/flu meds.  and creams.  a separate container houses our first aid supplies.  and another houses our "daily" meds. 
i LOVE it.  is that weird?
"it's like crack" #2 :  blistex.  you know, the chapstick.  in the greenish blue tube. 
a little background info on myself.  i ALWAYS wear chapstick.  and i ALWAYS have as long as i can remember.  so, my love for this particular brand causes me to have a stash in every known location where i might decide i need to apply it.  the car.  the diaper bag.  the purse.  the night stand.  the medicine cabinet.  the kitchen counter.  the desk.  how many is that so far?  i purged them all together and now have a container for all of my chapsticks.  seriously.  there has to be a dozen tubes in there. 
kind of embarrassing.  here's a picture of my love.
 
"it's like crack" #3 : FACEBOOK. 
good night nurse.  i'm on the computer all the time now that i discovered it.  and, apparently, you aren't cool if you aren't on facebook.  i love getting to see people that i went to high school with N.I.N.E years ago and seeing where they are now.  does that make me old?  and i LOVE seeing what my friends these days are doing every moment of every day.  so, make sure you update your status frequently, so us facebook stalkers can keep up with you.
that's it.  i think, at this moment, i can only compare three things in my life to an illegal drug.  if that's as close as i get to anything illegal though, i'm doing pretty darn good.  don't you think?

. decisions and love .

decisions.  i started a new blog.  over at blogger.  BUT, i can't decide if i like it or not.  i really like typepad.  and ALL of my posts are here.  if i switch for good, i can't take all of my posts with me because blogger won't let me import them and typepad won't let me export them to blogger.  so confusing.  so, do i start over?  do i leave everything i've written (of course i'd print them all and put them in notebooks)?  but no one would be able to look at my past 4 years.  four years.  a new marriage.  a new house.  a first baby.  a second baby.  i don't think i can do it. 

and love.  i love being a mom.  i love every minute of it.  the days may be rough and the nights may be long, but seeing these faces and making these memories makes it all worth it.

 

we absolutely cannot wait for spring to be here for good.  or summer.  since the two run together anyways.  karsyn loves being outside and, from what i can tell already, so does mykah.  this is a good thing since my skin is whiter than snow and i need some sun.  soon.  karsyn is a little ghostly herself.

here's a few more pictures just for fun.  happy friday.

 

 

. how to entertain BOTH kids while you clean the kitchen .

make sure you have a double sink and lots of warm water.

 

 

 

my kitchen got a bath too, but it was so worth it.  we had tons of fun.

{ps.  i'm in the process of switching back to blogspot instead of typepad.  hopefully i'll have the new one up and running soon.  bear with me.}