. these days i love .

i had a long conversation on the phone (shocked? i NEVER talk on the phone) with a sweet friend yesterday about ways to handle/communicate with my first strong-willed child.  not only is she strong-willed, she's stubborn, impatient, demanding, emotional, A GIRL, all in one little person.  there is no laid-back bone in her body.  she likes things her way, she likes to do things on her time, she likes to be queen. 

funny thing.  so do i.  so we clash, big time, quite often.  i was very excited after my conversation with my friend to get started on the techniques she shared and, although i have not yet bought the book she recommended, i did implement a lot of her techniques today. 

and, can i tell ya, we had an AMAZING day.  she was more calm.  i wasn't grouchy.  and it allowed us time to get along, play, tickle, and all those things a mother and young daughter should do daily.

ain't she sweet?  now, tomorrow may be a whole 'nother story, but tonight i can go to be with peace knowing that i do actually like my child.  

a BIG thing i have learned about her is that she has a true servant's heart.  she lives to help others in any way possible.  as stubborn and selfish as she can be, she finds the deepest pleasure in doing for everyone else.  as i realized this, today i started creating moments for her to help others.  she now passes out forks and napkins before we eat.  she makes sure everyone has their drinks and i may even let her pass out plates if they are safe to be handled without spilling. 

this is a HUGE step in making her a happier person.  next up ... making myself let go of the little things that i think i must have control over.  her wardrobe will be first in line.  i typically control what she wears, when she wears it.  for her personality, however, my friend explained that it is ok for her to be in control of that.  thank goodness she has decent taste and now knows what matches!!  i think we'll be good, but i'm trying my hardest to just let it go.  and something i will never forget ...

my friend said (these may not be exact, but it's close) "i always see litle girls who are dressed perfectly.  who match from head to toe and their hair is so dang cute.  they look perfect and so pretty.  but when they open their mouths to yell at their mother or talk ugly to a friend, they instantly become the ugliest little girl i've ever seen.  so i decided that it was okay for my daughter to look like a rag-a-muffin as long as her words were kind and she was being the person God created her to be." 

i will never forget that statement.  it's so true.  so my goal for karsyn is to simply be herself.  for me to relax and not control every little thing about her.  for her to be the person God created her to be every single day of her life and for me to show her those things in my own life for her to immitate and know how God created us to be.

tonight, i go to bed with a happy heart.