. spilt milk .

yep.  today i spilled a cup of milk.  took a picture.  and thought of a blog.  that's how i roll.  only this time, i didn't cry.  remember yesterday when i mentioned this rough season i've been in?  i've cried over everything.  seriously.  from the obvious emotional things, to not having a soda to drink in the morning, to my best friend being 453 miles away, to all the good things that did happen, to friends who surprised me, to friends who i thought would surprise me and didn't, to hubby's truck having to be fixed again, to not seeing my mom in almost a month.  you name it.  i cried. 

today i realized that, in order to be beautiful, you need to be ok with crying.  sometimes it hurts.  several times my heart fully ached.  that deep down pain that makes you clench your chest when you cry.  usually those cries came when i was in the shower alone.  sometimes i laughed afterwards thinking how silly i was being.  sometimes i felt the urge to cry, but then remembered how much God loves me and the urge went away. 

beauty comes from also realizing that i'm a mom and not a saint.  so many times i've caught myself trying to impress people.  to impress a friend who i so desperately wanted attention from.  to impress my children.  to impress my mother-in-law.  to impress my husband.  to impress my neighbors.  all in all, i never thought about how i never need to do anything to impress God.  He loves me and thinks i'm beautiful no matter what.  no matter what i do.  no matter who i think i am or feel i need to be.  no matter what i cry over.  He thinks i'm beautiful and that makes it all worth the tears. 

so cry.  be beautiful, be confident, and cry.  cry your ever-lovin' eyes out if you have to.  because it's those "spilt milk" cries that are so cleansing sometimes.